Of Mutes and Friends
by passion4trinity
Summary: Sirius is a mute who was abandoned by his family. James is his best friend in the world who has never really known any other friends other than Sirius. What will happen when they go to Hogwarts.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I never will so get over it. 

This is my second Harry Potter fan fiction. I hope you enjoy it. 

Chapter 1 

        "Sirius!" James called out from the bottom of the staircase, impatience in his voice. He waited for a moment and then called out again, "Sirius!!!" 

        Sirius's face appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked down at James with a questioning look on his face. 

        "James, will you please stop yelling?" asked his mother from the kitchen. James rolled his eyes and looked back up to Sirius. Sirius was smiling slightly now. He also glanced back to James. 

        "Come down here, Sirius," commanded James, looking at Sirius expectantly. Shaking his head slightly, Sirius complied, slightly reluctantly.

        "Our letters are here, so if you want yours, you should come down and get it. Faster!" Impatience was now starting to become evident in his voice again. Sirius quickened his pace and was soon at the bottom of the stairs. 

        "Did you just say your letters had arrived?" inquired James's mother, walking out into the room where James and Sirius were standing apprehensively.

        "I'll bet it says you didn't get in," teased James. Sirius shot James a look that was filled with disgust and slight disdain.  

        "Open them," urged Mrs. Potter. 

        Sirius nodded and opened the envelope. As he read, a smile grew upon his young face. His dark hair fell across his bright blue eyes and he anxiously pushed it out of his way.   
  


        "I take it you got in then?" asked Mrs. Potter, looking at Sirius carefully. He nodded and grinned in a very large sort of way. "Um….well, what about your….you know, your speech impairment?" 

        "Mom, not now," said James, reading his now open letter. He was also smiling. 

        "Did you get in too, Jamie?" mouthed Sirius, considering he couldn't actually say anything. (A.N.: Sirius is a mute in case you haven't picked that up yet) 

        "Of course, as if there was any doubt," laughed James, brandishing the letter in front of Sirius's face.as 

        Sirius pushed James's hand out of his face and handed his own letter to Mrs. Potter, so she would understand what was going to be done about his not being able to speak. 

        "Oh," she said after reading it. "Well, that'll be interesting."

        "Mom, when are we going to go get our supplies in Diagon Alley?" asked James. 

        "Soon," replied Mrs. Potter, still looking at Sirius's letter, trying to make sure she had gotten all of the details of what was going to happen with Sirius.

        "_Can't we go soon?"_ asked Sirius. 

        Mrs. Potter sighed in mock frustration. "We can go tomorrow after lunch." 

        James sighed in exasperation and Sirius stuck out his tongue. 

        "Alright, so neither of you are very happy about that idea, but it's too late to go today." 

        Again, James and Sirius rolled their eyes. 

        "_I'll be upstairs,"_ Sirius said and spun on his heel and headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time. 

        Once Mrs. Potter was certain that Sirius was out of hearing range, she turned to her son. "You will be sure that Sirius is taken care of, right? You won't just forget him, will you? I know it's easy to do. I suppose that's what happens when you can't hear him. Just…don't forget him when you meet new people who can talk."

        "How mean do you think I am?" asked James in an injured tone. "I might tease him a lot, but I wouldn't abandon him."

        "I would hope not," answered Mrs. Potter stiffly. "His own family abandoned him. He's been through enough of that."

        "Why are you telling me this now?" James asked, looking at his mother kind of confused. 

        "Because I'm trying to give you enough reminder that you won't forget," she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

        "I still don't get why Sirius was abandoned by his family. And you will never tell me." James impersonated his mother's voice, "_You're too young to understand. Maybe when you're older."_

        Mrs. Potter sighed and looked at her son. "I think you're old enough to understand this now," James's mom paused for a minute and then began again. "The Black family doesn't like…odd things. They don't like anything that would make them seem imperfect. Being mute is being imperfect and the Black's had been trying to avoid this for centuries. Because he wasn't perfect, Sirius had to be sent away or killed so no one would know about his….impairment. Which is why he was lucky to have a good friend like you." Mrs. Potter smiled suddenly. "That's also why you shouldn't abandon him. You're the only family he has ever known." 

        James thought about it for a minute. His buddy, Sirius Black now seemed to be almost a completely different person now. He had lost his speech ability when his mother accidently cursed him for doing something he wasn't supposed to. The result was lack of vocal chords and him being kicked out of the family. 

        "I would never abandon Sirius. Especially now," James said, now sounding determined.

        "Good," was his mother's reply. 

A.N: I know it's kind weird but I thought it would be cool to show an almost weaker Sirius. But that doesn't always intrigue people so whatever floats your boat. Please review. Muchas gracias. 


	2. Diagon Alley

A.N: I don't own Harry Potter, but I'm working on it. So get back to me later. Teeheehee  
  
This is chapter 2 and I know it's still rather odd, but I have a plan for this fan fiction….kinda. Oh, and just for the record, anything that Sirius "says" is just him mouthing a lot. I guess James just became pro at reading lips. And what Sirius says will more than likely be in italics. If it's not, then it should be. Teeheehee.  
  
Chapter 2 Diagon Alley  
  
"MOM!!!" yelled James from the top of the stairs. When she didn't answer immediately, James called out again, "MOM!!!"  
  
"What?" asked Mrs. Potter from the kitchen.  
  
"When are we going to go to Diagon Alley?" James inquired. "You said we could go today."   
  
"We'll go soon," came the slightly impatient reply.  
  
James sighed in impatience and then turned and entered Sirius's bedroom. It was actually the guest bedroom but since Sirius had been disowned (for something he couldn't help, James thought angrily), that room had become his.   
  
When he entered the room, Sirius looked up and smiled slightly. "_When are we going to go to Diagon Alley?_" asked Sirius.   
  
"Soon," answered James. He gazed around Sirius's room. There were posters of Quiditch teams on his wall and there were clothes thrown all over the floor. Sirius was not the most organized person.   
  
"_I want cake,_" said Sirius randomly. James looked over at Sirius as if he had gone insane, which he might have.   
  
"Um….well what do you want me to do about it?" James stated. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly.   
  
"_Well, you could get me cake,_" suggested Sirius.   
  
"Sorry but we don't have cake," laughed James.   
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed. He picked up a magazine and began to scan it.   
  
"So, Sirius….what's up?" asked James, trying to make conversation.   
  
Sirius looked up slightly surprised. "_Nothing incredibly exciting.__ What's up with you?_"   
  
"Nothing," said James.  
  
"You seem a bit odd today. Ever since we got our Hogwarts letters actually," he pointed out.   
  
James sighed, not sure whether or not he should tell his friend what was on his mind. He was still thinking about what his mother had said about the Black family. He knew that Sirius didn't want pity.   
  
"_Well?_" pressed Sirius.   
  
"Well, last night my mom talked to me about why your parents well….why your parents don't want you around. And why they disowned you. I….I don't know. I guess that's just kind of disturbing to me," explained James.   
  
Sirius sat on his bed, not saying anything. "_It's ok,_" he finally said. He looked slightly disturbed though. He looked as if he was gonna say something else, but just then James's mom called out, "Boys, come on, let's go. Before I change my mind."  
  
"Come on," urged James, not really wanting to know what Sirius's response would be.   
  
"_Ok,_" he agreed and got up to walk out the door. James followed him out and they both walked down the stairs together.   
  
"What's up with the somber faces?" asked Mrs. Potter when she saw them.   
  
"Nothing, mom," James answered hurriedly. "Come on, let's go before everything closes or everything ends up being sold out."   
  
"You mean everything in a certain Quiditch store?" laughed Mrs. Potter, herding them towards the fireplace. "Ok, James, you and Sirius go first and I'll follow. Don't you dare do anything stupid that I wouldn't approve of. That means no mischief, trouble, pranks, jokes, no....anything else you probably will think of in the mere seconds you are left alone."  
  
"Yes mom," exclaimed James, eager to be on his way to Diagon Alley.   
  
"_We'll be good. What could we possibly do in the short amount of time you won't be supervising us?_" added Sirius.  
  
"I don't want to think about it," joked Mrs. Potter. "Ok, you two can go now."  
  
James and Sirius walked into the fireplace, with James grabbing the floo powder. Sirius grabbed James's shoulder so he wouldn't be left behind, and James shouted it, "DIAGON ALLEY!" and they were gone.   
  
The two boys came shooting out of a fireplace in the Leaky Cauldron. They stood up and waited for James's mom to join them. She came moments later and dusted herself and the boys off.  
  
"Ok, come on now. Let's go get your wands first, considering those are the things you wanted the most," said Mrs. Potter, leading the way.  
  
James and Sirius smiled as they followed her down the crowded streets of Diagon Alley, after, of course, they had entered it.   
  
"I'll bet it takes you forever to find your wand," teased James, prodding Sirius with his elbow. "And I'll probably get mine immediately."  
  
"_Dream on, Potter,_" replied Sirius, and walked faster to catch up with James's mom.   
  
"It's true," taunted James, knowing that he was probably pushing his friend a little too much.  
  
Suddenly Sirius spun around, looking threatening. "_That's enough James,_" he snapped.   
  
James halted somewhat surprised. Sirius was worried, he could tell. James supposed that Sirius had been afraid that he wouldn't have gotten in because of his impairment. James felt sorry for his friend. He was probably thinking that he would be abandoned by James all because he would meet new people who could talk and would also want to be his friend. James was gonna prove him wrong though.  
  
"Here we are, boys," Mrs. Potter gestured toward a shabby looking store with dust in the window display. A wand was lying on a faded pillow. "This is where you'll get your wands. Come on."  
  
When they entered the shop, a little tinkling bell rang. Sirius looked around apprehensively. "_What if there isn't a wand here for me,_" worried Sirius. James also looked a bit nervous.   
  
"Mom, where's the guy that owns the place?" asked James, looking around slightly confused.  
  
"You'll see," replied his mother in a tantalizing kind of voice.   
  
"_Is there something I could help you with, Mr. Potter?_" asked an odd voice from some shadows.   
  
Both James and Sirius jumped and spun around. The man stepped up to the counter and gazed at his three customers. "Ah, Mr. Potter. I was wondering when I would get to see you. Your mother had quite a good wand. One that was good for charms. I wonder what your strong point will be. Ah yes, I do. Well, come here boy and we'll start trying out wands."  
  
James tentavely moved up to the counter as the old man rummaged around behind the counter looking for a wand. Presently, he reemerged with a box. Carefully, he pulled the wand out and handed it to James. James gazed at it and then, feeling rather foolish, waved it around. There was no reaction, so he handed it back to the owner of the store.  
  
"Not that one. Well, how about...this one!"  
  
James took the second wand and waved it around as well. There was no reaction from that one either, so he sheepishly handed it back. James was very much aware of Sirius standing behind him, silently laughing.   
  
"Apparantly not that one either. Well, you are a tricky one. Well, you can try this one."   
  
James was handed another one, and like the two before it, there was no reaction at all. James repeated this process for about half an hour before finally finding one that was perfect for him. He grinned in relief and took his wand and walked over to his mother. "You're turn Sirius," James muttered. Sirius sent him a glare and cautiosly walked to the counter.  
  
"Ah, Mr. Black. I wasn't sure if I'd see you or not. Anyways, you should have a lot of potential, aye? With your mother being who she was. And your father....Both of their wands were extremely good for the dark arts. The wand choses the wizard though. I wonder which one will choose you. Yes, I wonder. Well, here," he said, rumaging around for a wand. He handed it to Sirius, who took it nervously. "Try this one. I think this one would be good for you."  
  
Sirius looked at it and then waved it. Nothing happened so he handed the wand back to the strange man, who immediately began looking for another wand. He picked one up and gazed at it carefully, a thoughtful look on his face. "I think this one may be the best one for you, Master Black, here."  
  
Sirius took the wand and shook it. Warmth spread to his fingertips and a smile came to Sirius's face. This was his wand. James watched in slight awe. He was filled with envy at his friend for finding his wand so quickly.   
  
"I thought so. Good at the dark arts as well, but also very good at transfiguration. As is yours, Mr. Potter, but not so good in the dark arts as your friend's here is. I've never forgotten a wand that I've sold."   
  
Mrs. Potter paid the man and led the two boys out of the shop. Both looked very happy at their new wands.   
  
"_Wonder what that's supposed to mean,_" Sirius said, gazing at his wand, mixed emotions showing on his face.  
  
"What what's supposed to mean?" asked James, looking at his friend in a confused manner.  
  
"_Good in the dark arts. Does that mean I'll be like my parents?_"   
  
James thought for a moment. "I don't know what that means exactly, but there's no way you'll be like your parents."  
  
Sirius looked at James appreciatively and smiled slightly. The rest of the walk was continued in silence, both pondering different things.   
  
"Let's go get your books right now," suggested Mrs. Potter suddenly.  
  
"Why dont' Sirius and I go get our robes while you get our books," returned James. "It'll save time."  
  
Mrs. Potter thought for a moment and then gave her permission. "But be good you two," she called after them.   
  
They both ignored her and hurried to the robe store while James's mother went to the book store. They ran in and waited for a moment. A plump lady came out and looked at the two boys.   
  
"Hogwarts, aye?" she asked, looking at both of them closely.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," answered James.  
  
"Well come on back then and we'll get you both fitted." The lady led them back to a room where there were a few stools. Someone was already standing on a stool with pale hair and ice blue eyes. When they entered the room, the boy snapped around and looked at them. A sneer curled on his lips.  
  
"Well, if it isn't Potter and Black. How amusing. How has your speech been going?" he taunted.  
  
"Shut up, Malfoy," snapped James angrily. Next to him, Sirius stood rigid, his normally friendly eyes now cold and his usual pleasant demeanor threatening.   
  
"Ha," Malfoy laughed, "he still can't talk. Personally, I think everyone should be on their hands and knees thanking your mother for making you permanently silent. It's such a nicer sound than your voice."   
  
"Why I oughta-"  
  
"You're done, Mr. Malfoy," a voice called out, and the plump lady came out and got James and Sirius settled on the stools. Malfoy got down and glared at them, the sneer still in place.   
  
"I'll see you in school, Potter, Black." He left and both boys watched him leave with disdain.   
  
"You ok, Sirius?" asked James, looking at his friend carefully.  
  
Sirius nodded and pursed his lips. The fitting took no time at all and soon they were at the book store. James's mom was waiting for them there, holding a few more bags than she should have.  
  
"You two took so long that I was able to go to the other stores to get your supplies. We can go home now."  
  
Mrs. Potter had expected James to complain loudly and Sirius to shake his head and make puppy dog faces at her. Neither of the boys did either of those things though, which made her slightly worried. She brushed it off as them being tired and led the way to the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
******  
  
A.N- Ok, I know that chapter was kinda long, but I wasn't sure where to stop. So...yeah. Anyways, the next chapter will be coming soon, mainly because I have way too much time on my hands.


	3. The Nightmare

A.N. many thanks to those lovely people who reviewed for my pathetic story. lotsa good advice. considering i'm like....never mind. here's the chapter.  
  
Chapter 3 The Nightmare  
  
Sirius woke up with a start. It was the night after he had gone to Diagon Alley with the Potter's. If he could have said something, he probably would have shouted out. However, he couldn't, so he remained silent.  
  
He had a nightmare. It had been so vivid. Sirius never had nightmares. It had been about his childhood. Something he tried so hard to block out from his memories.   
  
*Sirius's dream*  
  
"Sirius, get over here, you insufferable child," his mother screeched. She forcefully grabbed him by his left ear and dragged him into the bathroom. "You need to take a bath, so take one now!"  
  
(A.N: Sirius was only five in this dream)   
  
Sirius got into the bathtub, whimpering slightly at how cold it was. His mother was back in a minute with shampoo and soap. Sirius just sat in the tup shivering.  
  
"Worthless little..." she muttered under her breath, arranging everything so she could give him a bath.   
  
The bath went smoothly until he accidently splashed water on Mrs. Black. She screeched and jerked away from him. "YOU INSOLENT LITTLE...ARGH!" she screamed angrily. A mad glint came into her eyes. "It's time to rinse your hear, DEAR."  
  
She pushed Sirius's head back into the freezing water and held it there for about 10 seconds. Sirius was flailing around and trying to get to the surface. Mrs. Black let her son up and then dunked him again. After doing this about three times, she finally stopped and just got up and left.  
  
Sirius was left in the tup shivering.  
  
(A.N: second part of Sirius's dream)   
  
"YOU SHAME OF MY FLESH! BLOOD TRAITOR! I JUST KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN....GRYFFINDOR! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK BACK TO ME! I SHOULD HAVE DROWNED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!" his mother screamed pushing the small boy up against the wall hard.  
  
"Mom, I didn't mean-"   
  
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSES! SO I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE EVER AGAIN!" Mrs. Black pulled out her wand and yelled, (a.n. some kind of curse would go here, but i'm not really creative in that area so....i'll let you think of a cool sounding curse). A bright light flashed and something seemed to attack Sirius at the throat. He gasped and backed up farther into the wall. It was done in seconds, and Sirius looked up at his mother fearfully.  
  
"There," his mother said, an evil smile on her face. "Now I won't have to listen to you ever again. Try to talk back. Go on."  
  
Sirius opened his mouth to say something but couldn't say anything. His eyes filled with terror and he looked up at his mom.   
  
"And the best thing is, there's not countercurse. You're stuck that way." Mrs. Black laughed evily. "Well, you know how your father and I hate abnormality. Get out! NOW! I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"  
  
*end of Sirius's dream*  
  
Sirius remained in his bed, shivering from the cold and trembling from the nightmare. He knew that he wouldn't be able to get his mind off of the nightmare unless he talked to someone, so he slowly got of bed and walked carefully to James's room.   
  
He entered it and saw James, still fast asleep in his bed. Sirius walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of. James stirred, but didn't wake up fully. Being mindful of getting hit, Sirius shook James's shoulder. This time James did wake up.  
  
"Whatsamatter?" a groggy James murmered, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. When his eyes finally focused, he saw a troubled looking Sirius. "Is everything alright, Sirius?"   
  
Sirius shook his head and James scooted over to make room for his friend. Sirius gratefully curled up on James's bed and put his head on James's shoulder. (A.N: they're still 10, so no, this is not slash. Yeah, just adding this because there is a lot of slash on this website and yeah. just thought i'd point it out.) "What happened" asked James. He turned on his light so he could see what Sirius was mouthing.   
  
"I just had a nightmare about what had happened at Grimmauld's Place. Right before I left, you know. And...how my mom tried to drown me when I was about five. I've tried so hard to forget those memories, but..."  
  
"It's ok, Sirius," soothed James, gently stroking his buddy's silky black hair. "You can stay here for the night."  
  
Sirius smiled gratefully at James, who scoot over a bit more and let Sirius have some more of the blanket. The boys fell asleep curled up together. (not slash, so stop thinking like that).   
  
******  
  
The next morning James's mom got up and walked into Sirius's room to wake him because it was closer to her room.  
  
"Sirius," she called out, pushing the door to his room open as she spoke. "Sirius?"  
  
Mrs. Potter was slightly alarmed that he wasn't in his bed, but before she started panicking, she went into her son's room. Sure enough, there was Sirius, sleeping with his head resting near James's chest. She smiled slightly. This was a change from their normal hyper selves.   
  
Sighing because she couldn't enjoy the silence for a bit longer, she walked in and shook Jamess' shoulder gently. James stirred and looked up at his mom. "Hi, mom." He looked down at Sirius, looking slightly confused and then comprehension came into his eyes.   
  
"It's time for you both to get up," Mrs. Potter said softly.   
  
"Alright," answered James, shifting so that he was farther away from Sirius, who was still fast asleep.   
  
Mrs. Potter moved for the door, but before she could leave, she turned back to look at the two children. Sirius looked so peaceful, whereas James looked bedraggled and tired.  
  
"Why is Sirius in your room?"   
  
"Because he had a nightmare about his times at Grimmauld's Place," answered James, shaking Sirius's shoulder, ready to dodge a punch that Sirius might be inclined to give him.  
  
Mrs. Potter looked slightly troubled by this news, but left the room, vowing to talk to Sirius about it later.  
  
In James's room, after both boys were dressed, James asked,"What did your Hogwarts letter say anyways? About your being mute?"  
  
"It just said that I'd be taking this kind of potion that made it so I could think of the effect of the spell and it would somehow work."  
  
"What?" exclaimed James. "I don't get it."  
  
"It's just if I think about what will happen for a spell, and use the correct wand motions and everything, then the spell will happen."   
  
"Oh...I still don't get it. I guess I'll just have to wait until I get to see it," James sighed.  
  
  
  
"Yeah you will," joked Sirius.   
  
********  
  
A.N.: that is the end of chapter 3. um...once again, anything that Sirius says is just him mouthing it. um...that was a boring chapter. oh well. next chapter coming soon. 


	4. Hogwarts

Disclaimer: i don't own it, which is too bad, so sad for me.  
  
dude, everyone is soo picky. i know i haven't posted for a while but that's because i've been frustrated. people keep on wondering how sirius is communicating and how james is understanding him. before i continue let me say this: HE JUST DOES!!! STOP ANALYZING IT!!! JAMES JUST UNDERSTANDS HIM!!! THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT!!! and about english being too complicated a language to just be mouthed and understood, then pretend he's speaking french or something. honestly, there's a reason it's called FICTION!!! it's not TRUE!!!! *lets out breath* ok, now that i have that out of my system....yeah. i'm sorry if my little outburst insulted anyone, but...if you think about it, NONE OF THE STUPID STORY IS TRUE!!! once again FICTION!!! just...use your imaginations. once again i'm sorry if that insulted anyone. please don't let my mood swings stop you from reading this story. i'm really not a terrible person it's just...*grumbles under breath* just...honestly, go with it. *forces smile* anyways, here's the next chapter.   
  
Chapter 4 Hogwarts  
  
The day came when James and Sirius were going to Hogwarts. Sirius had packed all of his things the night before because he had been so excited that he couldn't get to sleep. James, however, was not a night person OR a morning person. He was awoken by a pillow thrown by Sirius.   
  
"Sirius," he growled and got out of his bed to chase Sirius. Sirius, apprehending this, immediately ran out of the room and down the stairs. James found him in the kitchen moments later with his mom, who was talking about his speaking impairment.   
  
"You do know that everything will be alright, aye?" she inquired. Sirius nodded and she smiled fondly at him. "You'll be just fine." Mrs. Potter got up and ruffled his dark hair affectionately.  
  
James sighed. He knew his mother was still worried that he was going to leave his friend once he met other people. People who could speak. However, Sirius had special ways of getting attention. There was this spell that he used quite frequently on James that gave him the power to get in his head almost. As if he were James's conscience. It was incredibly unnerving to have a voice in your head telling you to pay attention to your best friend.   
  
James spun on his heel and walked up the stairs to pack. He was going to miss his home and mother and father. However, he was excited too. This was a new step for him. Not quite as much as for Sirius because he had been away from his home for the past two years.   
  
James was almost finished packing when Sirius came in and sat on James's bed. He looked oddly happy and his eyes were brighter than usual. "We're going to Hogwarts!" he exclaimed happily.   
  
"I can't wait until we get there and get sorted," agreed James.  
  
"I'm not looking forward to the sorting actually," disagreed Sirius. James suddenly realized what he meant. His entire family had been placed in Slytherin for the past centuries. Sirius would be miserable there, and James knew it.  
  
"Don't worry about it. There is no way you will be put in Slytherin," reassured James, patting Sirius on the back in a comforting way.   
  
Sirius smiled weakly and got up. "Need any help?"  
  
"Nah, I'm almost finished. No," he said as an afterthought,"I think I am finished."  
  
"Well that's good," came Mrs. Potter's voice from the doorway. "We need to leave right now."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Come on you two. Your trunk is already in the car, Sirius."   
  
Sirius nodded and settled for helping James carry his trunk out to the car. They both got in and sat in silence. Sirius was bursting with excitement, anxiety, and happiness. He had always felt like a bit of a burden to the Potter's and now he wouldn't have too. He knew that he and James would probably go home for the holidays, but he was still off of their hands for the most part. However, he was not looking forward to seeing what house he would be placed in. He would be tormented if he were placed in Slythering, and probably would be scorned by everyone else if he were placed in any other house. He was, after all, a Black. The Black's weren't the most popular family. Yes, they were well known, but that didn't mean they were liked.   
  
James was sitting there thinking about everything. New friends, classes, houses, Quiditch, food....everything! He already couldn't wait to be there. He knew it was gonna be a long train ride though.  
  
They finally arrived at the station after what seemed like hours of driving (in reality it had only been about 30 minutes). Sirius got out and he and James went to go get trolleys for their large, heavy trunks.   
  
It took them a while to find the platform and then a bit longer to convince Sirius that he wouldn't crack his skull open by running at it.  
  
The got on the platform and gazed around. Everyone around them was saying good bye to relatives, greeing friends, or just wandering around looking for friends. James was glad he had Sirius with him at that very moment.   
  
"You two should go find a place to sit," said Mrs. Potter, looking around. "I'll just leave you now. I expect good behaviour, letters, and you will both be coming home for the holidays. No arguements. Ok? Good. Bye." Mrs. Potter gave them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She then pulled James over to the side when Sirius was rumaging around for something in his trunk. "Remember, don't forget him. You're all he's got." And with that she spun around and walked away.   
  
"Come on Sirius," James ordered, pulling his trunk behind him as he started to walk away. "Let's go find us a place to sit."  
  
Sirius obediently followed and they quickly found a compartment that was unoccupied. They both sat there, both feeling a sudden anticipation for things to come.   
  
The door suddenly opened and they saw a girl with dark hair and a pale face standing there. "Well, well, well. If it isn't my darling little cousin. How have you been doing?" she sneered.  
  
Sirius's eyes turned cold and angry and he stood up in a defensive fashion.  
  
"Why didn't you answer? Oh...that's right, you can't. How has being a mute been going for you? That good aye? Well, I'll see you around, you filthy little blood traitor," snapped the girl. She then turned and walked away.  
  
"That was your cousin Bellatrix, right?" inquired James.  
  
Sirius simply nodded and then gazed out the window right as the train started to pull away. After sitting silently for a few minutes, the door opened again, only this time a pale, tired looking boy stoo there, looking at the two boys warily. "Can I sit here? All the other compartments are full for the most part."  
  
James nodded and gestured to the seat next to Sirius. The boy smiled and walked in. "I'm Remus Lupin by the way," he said, looking at Sirius and James. Sirius still looked kind of upset.  
  
"I'm James Potter and he's Sirius Black," replied James.   
  
"Black? Potter? Sitting in the same compartment without loud yelling? Well, that's something one doesn't see everyday. Black? Hmmm, so, is your family really evil? I think they are. Why else would they be so cruel and....merciless? And I'm willing to bet that you are just like them," said Remus, looking closely at Sirius.  
  
James turned to Sirius to see what his response would be. He had a feeling he would need to be a translator. However, when he saw what Sirius said, he felt it would be best if he censored it a bit.  
  
"Sirius disagrees," James simply said. Sirius rolled his eyes but nodded anyways. Remus then looked slightly confused.   
  
"Wait, a Potter is now sticking up for a Black?"   
  
Sirius spun around violently and started mouthing many profanities. Among all that was saying that he wasn't like his family at all and that he had no right to say so. The entire time James read his lips and Remus looked even more confused.  
  
"Why don't you actually say something, Black?" asked Remus.  
  
"He can't," explained James. "His mom hexed him when he was eight years old and he ran came to live with me. I don't know what the curse was, but it was one that made him permanently mute."  
  
"Oh," Remus said, suddenly feeling very guilty for all the things he had just said. "So you really aren't like your family?"  
  
Sirius shook his head, happy that he had managed to get through to the brown haired boy sitting next to him.   
  
"Well that's good, because I think we can all be really good friends," exclaimed James happily. Sirius raiesed his eyebrows while Remus smiled weakly. "As for the present time, let's play chess."  
  
The rest of the train ride was spent playing chess, and they only interrupted once when the lady with the food cart came around. They bought almost the entire cart and snacked on it the rest of the train ride.   
  
When they arrived, they got off the train. It was raining, something they hadn't noticed until they got off the train.  
  
Sirius found his way over to James and he pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. "Where do we go now?" he asked.  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
Just then, a man called out, "First years, over here. Will the first years please come with me."  
  
James, Sirius, and Remus made there way over to the man, sticking close together so they wouldn't be separated. They walked to where there were many small boats docked at the shore of a lake. The man told them to get in the boats, but not more than four to a boat. James, Sirius, and Remus got in one together and were shortly joined by a girl with red hair and green eyes. She smiled slightly at the three boys and then surveyed her surroundings.   
  
The boats began to move onwards when all of the first years had gotten into boats. There was a lot of chatting going on, until they got to where they could get a good view of the castle. There was a collective gasp from the first years. James was staring up at the castle in awe when he suddenly felt the boat rock violently. He turned to find Snape rocking it and to see Sirius fall into the water.   
  
Of course Sirius didn't know how to swim. He had been terrified of water ever since his mother had almost drowned him in their massive bathtub. James looked into the water and was prepared to jump into it. Sirius came to the top again and flailed his arms around a bit. James took that opportunity to grab once of his arms and pulled him safely back into the boat.   
  
Sirius sat there coughing out water, while Remus looked kind of shocked and the girl with red hair looked scrared. James hit Sirius on the back to help clear his lungs. The man who was leading the boats didn't even seem to notice, and if he had, he didn't show any signs of caring. Sirius sat in the boat shivering for the rest of the trip to the castle.  
  
"There's a reason I hate water," joked a freezing Sirius. It was harder for James to know what Sirius was saying considering his teeth were chattering from the coldness of the water.   
  
They finally arrived at the castle, all of them being a little bit wet from the rain, but Sirius obviously being the wettest of them all.  
  
A stern looking lady greeted them at the entrance of Hogwarts. She surveyed the first years, wondering which ones would be in her house. She immediately recognized the Potter kid, the mute Black, Snape, and a few other children from well known families.   
  
"I am Professor McGonagal. The sorting will take place in a few minutes, so if you would wait here for a moment..."  
  
She left and the first years were standing around, wondering which house they would be placed in. Probably the most worried first year was Sirius Black, but Remus Lupin was a close second. Both of them had the feeling they didn't belong there. So when Proffesor McGonagal returned, they were both shaking and terrified.   
  
********  
  
A.N.: i'm going to end there because it's 1:00 am and i need sleep. i'm sorry again for the outburst but it's true. if you just ignore the technical details of this story, you'll probably enjoy it more. anyways, i should probably point out that peter will not be in this story because i really dislike him. too boring....anyways, please review. it's ok to flame but please, tell me something i DON'T know. thanks. 


	5. The Sorting

Sorry again about the last author's note. i'm just really short of patience. i'll try to cover more things though so i don't have to get all frustrated and all....blah. yeah. anyways, here's the chapter. oh, and there should be a sorting hat song, but i'm not creative enough right now to think of a song so i'll let YOU. teeheehee.  
  
Chapter 5 The Sorting  
  
The first years were led down between two tables to stand in front of a beat up looking hat. It had a tear in it and wasn't really a good looking hat. James looked at it curiously. How was that HAT going to decide which house he was going to be in.   
  
Just as he thought that, the hat started to sing:  
  
(the hat's song)  
  
After the hat finished singing, the entire school applauded as Proffesor McGonagal unrolled a piece of parchment.  
  
She called out clearly, "Avery, Nott."  
  
The boy walked up to the stool and put the hat on his head. Moments later the hat yelled out, "SLYTHERIN" and the boy ran off to sit at the Slytherin table.  
  
"Aze, Don"  
  
The same process as before happened, except this time the hat yelled out "HUFFLEPUFF". The boy ran of to the Hufflepuff table.   
  
"Black, Narcissa."  
  
Sirius's cousin walked up to the stool calmly. Sirius was silently cursing his last name for being so close to the beginning of the alphabet. "SLYTHERIN" the hat called out and Narcissa trounced off to the Slytherin table, throwing her cousin a very dirty look on the way there. James glared at her and smiled slightly at Sirius in an encouraging way as his name was called out.  
  
"Black, Sirius."  
  
Sirius walked up to the stool. He could tell that no one was really interested in his sorting. They all had him sorted into Slytherin already. Sirius took on an indignant look just as the hat fell across his eyes.  
  
"Hmmm...another Black. Only you're different. Oh yes, very different. You don't enjoy the malice of your family members, do you. Oh no, not at all. In fact, you've been disowned. That rules out Slytherin then, I guess, no matter how good you might have done there. Hmmm, but where will you go then?"  
  
"Please not Hufflepuff," thought Sirius. He didn't really have anything against that house, he just rather be in Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. Mostly Gryffindor.  
  
The sorting hat laughed however. "No, you're too smart for Hufflepuff. Ah, but what's this? You're a mute? Hmm...Dumbledore told me there would be a mute, I just didn't think it would be a Black. Well, then. You do have the brains for Ravenclaw, but your loyal as well. But I've alread ruled out Hufflepuff...And bravery. Ah yes, a lot of bravery. Well, that settles it. GRYFFINDOR!"   
  
Sirius took off the hat, relieved. There was a few scattered applauses, but it was mostly stunned silence. Sirius simply rolled his eyes and smiled over to where James was giving him a thumbs up. Sirius walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down. He didn't start paying attention to the sorting until he heard the name "Lupin, Remus" being called out.  
  
Remus walked up to the stool shaking. He sat down on it and had the hat pulled over his eyes. "Hmm...well, you're going to be a difficult one too. Just like young Black. Hmm...where should I put you? Not Hufflepuff, I think. Too smart for that. Um...how about Ravenclaw? No, you're brave. There's much bravery in fact. But what's this? You're a werewolf? Hmmm....interesting. You're strong too then. Well, I guess that leaves GRYFFINDOR!"   
  
Happy, Remus took off the hat and walked to the Gryffindor table to sit down next to Sirius, who was grinning, happy that one of his friends had gotten into the same house as he. Sirius once again zoned out completely as the sorting went on, only coming back to reality when James's name was called.  
  
James walked up to the hat confidently. "Ah, another Potter. Gee, I wonder where you'll be going."  
  
"Goodness, this is a sarcastic hat," thought James.  
  
The hat laughed, evidently able to hear his thoughts. "That I am. Spending so much time in Dumbledore's company made me that way. You can bring it up with him if it truly bothers you. Anyways, you're definately a GRYFFINDOR!" James smiled and took off the hat, but not before he heard one last chuckle coming from it.  
  
James walked over and sat down by Sirius, and he began chatting with him. Remus watched, fascinated that James was able to understand Sirius so easily despite his being mute. Remus decided he'd have to talk to James about it later.   
  
When the sorting ended, Dumbledore stood up and announced, "Welcome back to returning students and welcome to the first years. The Forbidden Forest, like last year, is...well, forbidden. We have a few students this year with...erm, certain disabilities so please treat them with the same respect you would use to anyone else. And with that said, tuck in."  
  
Food magically appeared in front of the students and teachers. First years gasped in surprise and pleasure and everyone began piling food on their plates. James went for chicken, potatoes, and corn while Sirius went for everything. Remus watched them and wished he had a bigger appetite. He pecked at a chicken bone without any real will to be eating. Sirius and James didn't seem to notice him, but then they turned and started talking to him, as well as the other new first years. Some of the older students helped clarify a few things up.  
  
After everyone ate to their heart's content, a Gryffindor prefect called to the first years and then led them up flights of stairs to the Gryffindor common room. With each step, James, Sirius, and Remus got decidingly tired. Just when they thought they would fall asleep on their feet, the prefect stopped in front of a picture of a lady in a pink dress.  
  
"Everyone, the password is penguins," the prefect said. He led the way into the common room and pointed out where they would sleep. The three boys immediately went up to their dormitory. Sirius fell asleep immediately, without taking off any of his clothes or his shoes. James shook his head and took off Sirius's shoes for him. Remus watched, sligtly confused.  
  
"Why are you so nice to Sirius?" he asked.  
  
James looked up at him as he helped Sirius under his blankets. Sirius was protesting in his sleep. "I'm usually not this nice, but...hey, Sirius needs someone to care about him." Remus continued to look confused so James just sighed. "Sirius will explain later. It's not my story to tell."   
  
Remus nodded and looked back at a now tucked in Sirius. James walked over to his bed and got ready to go to sleep. Remus also got into bed. Without another word being said, all of the boys were fast asleep.  
  
******  
  
A.N.: I know that james wouldn't be so openly affectionate of sirius, but i thought it would be cute. it won't last. at least, i don't think so. pathetic, i know. but oh well. please review. sorry again for the outburst in the other chapter. *looks sorry* thanks for reviewing. the next chapter will be coming soon. 


	6. Morning

A.N.: thank you for all of the lovely reviews. really sweet. i feel loved. *smiles* anyways, now that i'm done spilling my happy guts, here's the next chapter.   
  
Chapter 6 Morning   
  
Sirius woke up at about 6:00 a.m. He was almost always an early riser. It was just his personality. The way he looked at it, the longer you were awake, the more time you'd have to pull pranks on people. Like, for instance, James.  
  
Sirius smiled an evil smile and got up, making sure nothing creaked under his weight. He picked up his pillow and slowly walked over to James's bedside. Without hesitating, he lifted the pillow over his head and brought it down quickly on his best friend's head. Only to find out moments later that it wasn't James.  
  
"What the heck?!" shouted Remus and sat up abrutly. Sirius took a step backwards and tried to hide the smile that was coming across his face. In fact, Sirius was so amused that he had to stop himself from laughing.  
  
"Nice," said Remus shaking his head as he lay back down. "Black is an outright comedian. Always wanted to room with one. Comedians are so funny..." Remus continued to grumble about how "humerous" Sirius was as he tried to go back to sleep.  
  
"You know you love him," James's voice came from the bed on the other side of Sirius's bed. Sirius was sitting on his bed, laughing silently. Remus sat up again and indignantly cried, "He just hit me on the head!"  
  
"Yep, and all I have to say to that is better you than me."   
  
"Well, that's nice."  
  
"Isn't it though?"  
  
"Shut up Potter."  
  
"Come over here and make me."  
  
"I think I will."  
  
"I could take you."  
  
"Just bring it."  
  
At this time, Sirius got up and walked into the bathroom. He got out something from his pocket. It was a type of medicine. James's mom had given it to him while James had been packing. She hadn't been sure, but there might be some way for him to get his speech back.   
  
Sirius opened up the bottle of medicine. Mrs. Potter's words came back to mind, "I'm not sure it will work. That was some spell your mother hit you with. If this does work, it will still be about two years before it actually starts to work. I don't know why, but...if you want to try, then of course you can. However, there's the risk that it may somehow mess up you're body. If you're willing to take the risk...."   
  
"Anything to get my voice back," he thought savagely, snapping back to the present and staring at his reflection in the mirror. He didn't necessarily like his appearance. It was too much like the rest of his family. The spitting image of his father really, with shoulder length black hair and pale skin. The only thing he didn't inherit in his appearance from his parents were his eyes. His father had angry brown eyes his mother had cold green eyes. Totally unlike Sirius's warm, friendly, bright blue eyes.   
  
He swallowed the pill with an accompanying gulp of water and put the bottle of medicine back into his pocket and started to get ready. He took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair.  
  
When he stepped out of the bathroom though, he stopped short. It would appear that James had taken on Remus's challenge and the two were rolling on the floor in a fight to the death. Or, so it seemed. Sirius raised his eyebrows and moved out of the way as they came towards him.   
  
Sirius shook his head and walked to his bed. It was now 6:45 a.m. "They've been fighting for 30 minutes?" wondered Sirius to himself. Then, grinning slightly, Sirius set down the towel, and waited for the oppurtune moment. James and Remus were rolling by him and he jumped like a cat. James and Remus yelled out in surprise as their two person brawl became a three person fight.   
  
After a few minutes of fighting, all three boys broke apart. James and Remus had various scratches all over their faces and arms. They were all panting. Sirius suffered no injury because he had come in late.   
  
"We should get ready," panted James to Remus.  
  
Remus nodded and stood up.   
  
"I call bathroom first," James said, and ran into the bathroom quickly, leaving Sirius and Remus alone to talk.   
  
There was silence for a moment. Remus cleared his throat and said,"So...you've been living with the Potters since you were eight years old, right?"  
  
Sirius nodded, a guarded expression coming over his face. His eyes narrowed slightly as if he was trying to say 'so what'.  
  
"Were you adopted?" asked Remus, although he was pretty sure of the answer to that. In fact, he knew Sirius wasn't adopted. He was just wondering why James felt he was responsible for the young Black boy and why Sirius lived with the Potters anyway.  
  
  
  
Sirius shook his head and mouthed something. Remus gave him a quetioning glance and Sirius looked exasperated. He walked over to his bag and got his wand out. Remus looked at it warily.   
  
"Why do you live with the Potters then?"   
  
Sirius gave a ghostly smile and waved the wand, a look of intense concentration coming over his face. Suddenly, to Remus, it felt as if his mind was totally exposed.   
  
"I live with the Potters because my parents don't want me at Grimmauld Place," Sirius's voice said from within Remus's head. He had a pleasant voice, one that sounded as if it could be pleasant if they were talking about something else. "Shocked, aye? Yep, most people are when they here strange voices in their head. This is how I get James's attention. You gotta learn how to lipread though because it takes a lot of effort for me to do this. Anyways, my parents dislike imperfection and being a mute is not being perfect. This got me kicked out of the house. Of course, it was my mother who made me mute but...that's not the point. I live with the Potters because they're the only ones I know who actually accept me the way I am." Sirius's voice, bitter at the end of his little speech, faded out and Sirius sat down on his trunk looking a bit tired.   
  
"So you can talk, but you...you cant'?" Remus was confused now.   
  
Sirius nodded. James came out of the bathroom right then. He looked confused as he his eyes fell on the two. Remus was standing and staring at Sirius as if he had never seen the Black boy before.   
  
"Is everything alright?" asked James. Sirius looked up at him and nodded, a scowl on his face though. James looked at him slightly concerned, but decided not to push it. Sirius was a bit angrier than James liked him being. Although Sirius couldn't talk, he was still incredibly powerful and James didn't want to have to go up against an angry Sirius Black.   
  
"I'll be in the shower," Remus muttered and walked into the bathroom. James looked even more confused, but just shrugged it off. He decided he'd ask Sirius about it later. When he was in a BETTER mood.  
  
************  
  
A.N.: how was that? i'm like kinda confused at my own.....ideas, but hey. i'll sort everything out. please review. or flame. whichever you prefer. 


	7. The Howler

A.N. i was going to update yesterday, but luck of all luck, the power went out. FOUR TIMES!!! argh. stupid edison dudes. anyways, i'm over it now and i'm now fully charged to write another chapter. and....drumroll please....here it is!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Sirius walked down to the Great Hall to have breakfast. It took him a while to find it though, considering it was only his first full day at Hogwarts. James and Remus were still in their dormitory arguing. Sirius shook his head at the thought of the two. It was almost as if he'd already been forgotten.  
  
Getting Remus to know what he said had taken quite a bit of Sirius's strength so he was rather tired by the time he arrived at the Great Hall. It was still quite early so Sirius was one of the first ones there. He walked over to the table and sat down.  
  
As he was eating, James and Remus joined him, still arguing. Sirius rolled his eyes and continued to eat his breakfast. James sat down beside him and Remus sat across from both of them. By this time the Great Hall was filling up with other students.   
  
James and Remus started chatting immediately about something, leaving Sirius feeling incredibly left out. "Goodness," thought Sirius to himself, "I hope this medication works. It'd be awesome if I could talk again. I wouldn't have to fight to get anyone's attention and everyone would be able to understand me. Well...for the most part."  
  
Sirius's thoughts were broken into by James poking him in the shoulder. Swooping towards Sirius was an owl with a red letter tied to it's leg. Sirius's eyes widened and he looked slightly confused. His parents had thrown him out of the house and had told him that they never wanted to see him again. Why were they sending him a letter? No, a howler.  
  
"Crap," said Sirius to James as the owl landed in front of him and looked up at him expectantly. "What do I do? They haven't wanted to have anything to do with me since I became mute. Why start now?"  
  
"Just open it," replied James, looking at the howler sadly, knowing that his friend would most likely be hurt by whatever it said.   
  
Sirius glanced at James and then slowly opened it, looking pained to do so. The second it was opened it started to screech.  
  
SIRIUS BLACK! NOT ONLY ARE YOU MUTE BUT YOU'RE ALSO IN GRYFFINDOR! HOW DARE YOU? SURE WE SAID WE DISOWNED YOU, BUT YOU ARE STILL BLOOD, AND AS SUCH, YOU SHOULD BE ACTING LIKE IT! OR AT LEAST TRYING TO! YOU ARE A DISGRACE, SHAME OF MY FLESH, BLOOD TRAITOR, MUDBLOOD LOVER! HOW DARE YOU INFLICT THE MIGHTY HOUSE OF BLACK WITH YOUR IMPERFECTIONS? YOU SHOULDN'T! WE SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE! ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT YOU. SOMETHING...ABNORMAL! NOT ANYMORE.   
  
The howler ended there and burned into ashes. Sirius sat there staring at it while everyone in the Great Hall looked at him. He suddenly stood up and walked out of the Great Hall calmly. James watched him walk away, a concerned look on his face. Remus was looking unnerved and even more guilty about what he had said to Black on the train. Even though that was long since forgotten.   
  
"Do you think I should go after him?" asked James.  
  
Remus shook his head. "No, he'll probably just feel embarressed if you do that. After all, he's trying to convince everyone that he hates his family."  
  
"But he does," James said looking confused.  
  
"But not everyone else does." Remus sighed slightly and stood up, gesturing for James to follow him. "Right now we'll go to our first period class which is..." he picked up his newly passed out schedule, "Transfiguration."  
  
"Oh, fun," mumbled James sarcastically, not really caring about anything but Sirius at the moment.  
  
"Come on, you'll see Sirius there," urged Remus and pulled on James's arm to get him to move.  
  
"Fine fine fine."  
  
The two boys got lost several times on their way to Transfiguration, but they somehow managed to get there before they were late. Not by much though.   
  
James and Remus looked around as they entered. Oddly enough, well, to James at least, Sirius was sitting at a desk gazing forlornly around the room. James sighed and walked over to his buddy, Remus following, looking concerned.  
  
"Hey Sirius, cheer up. This is the class where we get to change things into other things. You always thought that would be fun."  
  
Sirius gave James a glare and he shut up immediately. Sirius was still not in a good mood and that worried James to some extent. He knew that Sirius's family was crap and made him angry, but James had never been on the receiving end of Sirius's anger. Nor did he want to be. However, at the moment James understood that his friend might need to vent a little bit.   
  
Remus, who was sitting behind James, got out a piece of parchment and a pen. Proffesor McGonagal sat at the front of the class, waiting for the students' attention. When she felt she had it, she began by transforming into a cat.   
  
"Whoa," exclaimed James in awe. "You're an animagus!"   
  
"Yes, I am. Now, this class is not for...."  
  
Proffessor McGonogal went on and on and on about how Transfiguration was not for everyone. The class, all in all, went by incredibly slowly. When class ended Sirius was one of the first ones out of his seat and the first one out of the door. James and Remus were tied and came in second.   
  
Once again Sirius felt kind of alone. James and Remus were having a fun time chatting. Sirius sighed silently. What was he gonna do? His best friend suddenly had a new friend who might take his place. There had to be something he could do to get other's attention in an easier way. But how? Sirius started to think and a plan started to form in his mind.  
  
*************  
  
A.N.: and the plot thickens. dun dun dun. anyways, there's the chapter. it's short. i know this. my computer's not happy though so i think i'm gonna try to stay in it's good graces and just shut it down while it still works. well, kinda. anyways, the next chapter will be coming soon. sooner than you may thinking. teeheheee. i'm joking. but i will post the next chapter soon. i wasn't joking about that. just the....oh never mind. it's not worth it. please review! thanks! 


	8. Blah Blah Blah

A.N. alright, i know it was like a really long time since i last updated and i'm incredibly sorry to those who actually enjoy reading this. i have just been really busy. i saw The Passion of the Christ on sunday (cried the entire time) and then i went home and watched the academy awards (felt crappy). actually, The Passion was an awsome movie, but i'm not going to see it again. well, not anytime soon. a good reminder though. anyways, and then i had school, the most time-consuming thing in the world. like any of you care. um...if this chapter makes no sense it's because i really am lost. i have confused myself and am just....i've been really....yeah. please read and review and then i'll be happy.  
  
Chapter 8  
  
It was dinner time and neither James or Remus had tried to talk to Sirius. Sirius sat starting at his plate sullenly, thinking. He could pull a prank on Remus. That would get their attention. But what?  
  
Sirius was a natural trouble-maker. That was one of the many reasons Sirius's family had never liked him. It kinda scared him that he couldn't think of anything that he could use as a prank.  
  
Just then James and Remus walked over to Sirius and sat down beside him. Sirius looked up, uncertain as to what to think.   
  
"What's wrong Sirius?" asked James, looking at him carefully and cautiously. James wasn't sure how his friend was going to react to his interraction at the moment.   
  
Sirius shrugged. "Nothings wrong. Why would you think anything is wrong?"  
  
"Well, you've been silent for a very long time and....that howler. I don't know. You just seemed to be worried by it."  
  
"Nothings wrong."  
  
"Ok." James didn't seem to be convinced, but he didn't press matters either.   
  
Remus watched the entire exchange wearily. It was the day of the full moon and he wasn't looking forward to it. "I've gotta learn how to lip read," thought Remus to himself. Suddenly, Remus got really dizy. "Shoot," he thought and got up.   
  
"What's wrong Remus?" asked James, watching him stand up.   
  
"I've gotta go home. My mum's ill and I have to go home and...take care of her. I was supposed to leave about 15 minutes ago. I really have to hurry now. Bye." With a hurried wave, Remus ran off. James looked ofter him with a confused look on his face.  
  
"Well that was interesting, wasn't it." he said, turning back to look at Sirius.   
  
Sirius shrugged. He seemed to be uninterested. "Listen, Siri, I know I've kinda been ignoring you recently. But...I think Remus is really cool."  
  
"I know," mouthed Sirius. "I just feel...left out."  
  
"I'm sorry. There's not much I can do about it though," said James softly.   
  
Sirius was silent for a little while. Then he said, almost tentatively, "You know, I've heard of some kind of charm that can make it so you can permanently read lips. You didn't have to because you were young enough to pick it up quickly. I think your parents went to get that charm though. Maybe Remus....Because it does take a lot of effort for me to talk to him through telepathy."  
  
"You never seemed tired when you did it to me," protested James.   
  
"Your mind is more...open than his. It was easier to break into your thought barrier I guess. I'm not making any sense."  
  
"No, oddly enough you are. At least to me. As for Remus getting a lip reading charm placed on him, I think that's up to him. He might not want to. I don't know why not but..."  
  
"Well look who it is," a cold voice sneered from behind the two boys. They spun around and came face to face with a greasy haired boy. "It's the mute Black boy and his mudblood friend Potter."  
  
"Go away Snape," hissed James angrily.   
  
"Why?"  
  
Sirius suddenly stood up and swung at him, hitting him square in the face. Snape's nose was now bleeding and he had a split lip. Snape looked at Sirius with complete anger in his eyes and then he jumped on him.  
  
Finally they stopped for a moment, Severus looking straight into Sirius's eyes.  
  
"Mute crap, that's what you are. Can't even say the mean insults you want to throw at me right now. Can't even defend yourself." A twisted smile crossed Snape's face briefly. "No wonder your parents disowned you. Don't even carry on their good looks. Pity, really."  
  
Sirius's breathing had become hard. He looked as if he was ready to punch him again. He had a scratch on his face and the beginnings of a black eye. Also his arms were scratched up pretty badly. Snape had a bloody nose and two black eyes.   
  
"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" yelled Professor McGonagal suddenly rushing forward. It was rather astounding that none of the teachers had noticed the brawl before then, but that point was overlooked at the moment.   
  
"He just jumped on me professor. I wasn't doing anything. Just walking by," lied Snape. If possible, Sirius's face became even more dangerous and livid.  
  
"That's not what happened!" he exclaimed, anger all over his face. "He was taunting me about being mute and talking about my family. We even told him to go away, but did he listen? Nooo. No one ever listens to me because I can't talk. Go figure."  
  
Professor McGonagal was staring at the young boy before her, wondering what he was saying. It was impossible for her to make out all of the words that he had just...mouthed.   
  
"Potter, what did he just say?" she asked James, looking over at him. James looked over at Sirius, who looked indignant and highly affronted.   
  
"He said that Snape was taunting him about being mute and his family and Sirius just had to retaliate. Even though we both asked Snape to leave."  
  
Professor McGonagal threw up her hands in frustration and shook her head. "Oh dear. Mr. Black, you and Mr. Snape here have detention on Monday at 7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m."   
  
Both boys nodded somewhat sheepishly and the professor walked away angrily. Snape sneered at James and Sirius one last time and he vanished into the crowd of people leaving to go to their dormitories.   
  
"Well, I found someone to prank," said Sirius, tapping on James's shoulder to make certain he didn't miss what he said.  
  
"Snape?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "I was going to pull a prank on Remus for stealing you away from me, but now I have someone better to prank. Someone who deserves it for simply being a slimy git."  
  
"Nice....wait, you were going to pull a prank on Remus?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and led the way out of the Great Hall, leaving a bewildered James behind him.  
  
**********  
  
A.N. once again, i'm sorry for the long wait in which to read this chapter. am i annoying in my author's notes? i just realized that i'm incredibly random. if my notes bother you, then please tell me so. anyways, the next chapter, for sure, will be posted soon. a.s.a.p. teeheehee. adios 


	9. The Prankster's Beginning

A.N. ok, i had this chapter written and then, while i was trying to save it, the computer died. computer's are very inconvenient when they do that. argh. anyways, this chapter will not be how i originally planned it because....well, the original one is now deleted. it's still pretty good though...i think.   
  
Chapter 9 The Prankster's Beginning  
  
Once the two boys were in their dormitory, James sat down on his bed while Sirius sprawled across his own.  
  
"So," began James,"what was your brilliant prank?"  
  
Sirius thought for a minute. "Well, the one that I was going to do on Remus was a bit odd, but I thought it was good. It's basically putting honey in his socks-"  
  
"That's it?" an incredulous James interrupted.  
  
Sirius shook his head. "Shut up and let me finish telling you. Anyways, I was also going to curse all of his clothing to dance with other articles of clothing and follow him around all day."  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"No, I was also going to dye his hair purple and his skin a tinge of pink. Oh, and I was also going to make it so his shoes would run away and blow up in a corner when he tried to put them on. Well, one of them was going to anyways. The other one was going to bite him."  
  
"Wow Sirius, you're evil at times. Now I'm not going to be able to leave you alone without worrying about something happening to my clothes."  
  
"Ah, I wouldn't prank you," said Sirius, looking serious.   
  
James looked closely at Sirius. He was usually mistaken for his brother, or twin. With their similarities they were close enough for that to be true. Of course, the blood barrier made that impossible. However, you almost never saw one of the boys without the other. His mother had once said,"Cut him and you'll bleed." Of course, when she had said that, she had been trying to get some distance between the two boys. His mother hadn't always been so fond of Sirius. In fact, she had disliked him almost to the point of loathing. James had changed that.  
  
For all of their similarities, James adn Sirius were incredibly different. Sirius enjoyed music while James enjoyed sports. Sirius was a bit shy while James was outgoing. Sirius got upset easily while it took a lot to get under James's skin. Sirius had a family that couldn't care less about him, who in fact wanted him dead, whereas James had a family that not only cared about James immensely, also cared about Sirius. However, their differences did not separate them. Indeed, they brought the two boys closer.  
  
Sirius got up and walked over to where James was sitting. James had zoned out and had become lost in his thoughts. "James..." Sirius said, poking him to get his attention.  
  
"Huh? What?" asked James, coming back to Earth with a thud. He gazed at his best friend.  
  
"What do you think of my ideas?"  
  
"Well...are you going to prank Remus with them?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Ok, then, they're really good and we'll most likely have Snape in tears."  
  
Sirius smiled. He was the one who thought up of most of the prank plans. James was the one who made it so it was harder to track who did it. Of course, at James house, it wasn't hard to figure out who was doing the pranking. With two energetic boys with an incredible sense of humor running around, it didn't take long to guess who had done it.  
  
"Well that's good," Sirius said, gazing down at his hands in his lap.  
  
"You ok, buddy?"   
  
Sirius nodded, but the expression on his face suggested otherwise. "What's wrong, Sirius. And if you don't tell me then I'll beat you up."  
  
Sirius glanced up at James, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You sure do have a way with people," he commented.   
  
"I know. So, what's wrong?"  
  
"I...I don't know. Why did my parents send my that howler? They haven't said anything about me in the past two years, and all of a sudden they want back into my life. And...I...I guess I let what Snape say get to me. It's not my fault I'm mute! I didn't ask for my mom to put that bloody curse on me. And you don't ever talk anymore because you're too busy talking to Remus. It's like I don't even exist!"  
  
James remained quiet after Sirius's little outburst. Although he couldn't speak, therefore he couldn't hear the anger in his voice, James could see the anger, sorrow, frustration, and...loneliness on his friend's face. It was a rather complitcated emotion really.  
  
"Sirius...I...I don't know what to say or do. I mean, you will always be my best friend and you will always be like a brother to me. But...I guess I need other friends too. So do you. I'm sure if you got to know Remus, you'd enjoy his company as much as I do."  
  
Looking doubtful, Sirius commented,"He can't understand me, remember? He also doesn't want to have anything to do with my family."  
  
"Ah Sirius, he overreacted. People automatically assume that you're a vile evil person who deserves to die simply because your mental pycho schizo parents are vile evil people."  
  
"Mental pycho schizo?" asked Sirius, raising a finely shaped eyebrow.   
  
"I always liked the combination."  
  
Sirius nodded in understanding and stood up. "We should probably go to bed."  
  
"I concur."  
  
"Ooh, big words all of a sudden. Oh, my little James is groing up."  
  
"Shut up," snapped James and threw a pillow at him, who neatly sidestepped it and glared at his friend.   
  
Sirius walked over to his bed and got into it.   
  
"Good night Sirius," called out James from the bed next to his.  
  
Sirius wanted to answer. He would have given anything to answer his friend, to return the comment. But he couldn't, so he contented himself to staring out the window at the full moon.  
  
********  
  
A.N. once again, the computer died so this isn't like i originally had it. oh well. um...i wanted to explain that the way sirius talked to remus was a spell that could make his voice like....i don't know, be in his mind. so, it was a spell, but it involved telepathy. mainly because i couldn't think of a better word to describe it. anyways, it's late, i'm tired, i have to get up early tomorrow. good night. please review. oh, also, is there anything in particular that anyone wants to see? i dont' really care what as long as it's not...inappropriate. in other words, i'm basically taking requests. adios amigos. 


	10. Talking and Memories

A.N. ok, i didn't go to bed, i was just bored and mad at my computer. so, i decided to update twice in one night for lack of having nothing else to do. sorry if it doesn't make any sense, because i'm half awake while typing this.  
  
Chapter 10 Talking and Memories   
  
The next morning, Sirius awoke at the same time, but didn't get out of bed this time. He just lay staring at the ceiling. Considering Sirius had an unnatural fear of the dark, Sirius had left his drapes open and let the moon shine in from the window.   
  
Remus still wasn't back from seeing his sick mother. It seemed rather convenient to Sirius. He just...left. No warning, just a hurried explanation before running off. That just...didn't make sense. Remus Lupin was up to something, and Sirius Black was going to discover what that was, even if he had to torture him. Well...that might be going a bit far.  
  
"Are you awake Sirius?" a groggy voice came from one of the beds. There had only been three Gryffindor first year boys. All the others were either in a different house of a girl.   
  
Sirius sat up as an answer to James. James was sitting up in his bed, looking straight at Sirius. When he saw Sirius returning his intense stare, James turned his head away and stared out the window.   
  
"You know, I was thinking about what you said. About me...and how I don't even acknowledge your prescense. Well...I guess that's kind of true. I mean, I still want to be your best friend, but...what would everyone think? I guess it actually is getting to me. Not very many people like you Sirius. The Slytherins hate you because you're a Black and in Gryffindor. Everyone else dislikes you immensely because you are a Black. I...I do have a reputation to maintain, and I don't want to be feeling like this. I'm trying to stop thinking in such a selfish way, because we've only been here a day really. Still...I don't know, Sirius. I really don't know."  
  
Sirius sat while James fell silent. Was that it? Was Sirius's handicap so... horrible that not even James really wanted to be his friend in public? "No," thought Sirius sadly,"the reason he doesn't want to be seen with me is because I'm a Black. No one will like me because of my family. James knows that I'm not like them though...what's going on? Maybe he doesn't want anyone to know that we live together.   
  
Sirius sighed and looked up to see James staring at him. It was the weekend so neither of them had to get up to go to classes.   
  
James said, "I want to be your friend, it's just that when I see you sometimes...my thoughts aren't nice towards you sometimes. Sometimes I simply see you as a mute Black kid, and I hate that. I don't know why I suddenly am right now because you've been living with me for the past two years. I guess now I get to hear all of the things that people say about your family. It's a bit odd having you talk about your family because all you can ever get out is how much you hate them. And..."  
  
"You're confused," said Sirius, not knowing what else to say. Sirius was in fact feeling betrayed. James had just confessed to wanting to cut back on their friendship.   
  
"Sirius, you are my best friend. I don't care what I'm feeling at this immediate moment. I don't care how many other friends I have or their ability to speak and your... muteness. I don't care about any of your many flaws. I just...I want to be your best friend. I wish you would become friends with Remus. Just...forget about everything that I have said sense you woke up. It made no sense. Life doesn't make sense, you know that mate?"  
  
Sirius nodded and James got up to walk over to Sirius's bed. He sat down on the edge of it. "So, what do you wanna do today?"   
  
"How 'bout explore the castle and then the grounds and then the forest and then find a way to make our prank work."  
  
  
  
"Do you think Remus will be back today?"  
  
Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea." And with that, Sirius got up and walked into the bathroom, leaving James alone with his thoughts about his friend.   
  
In the bathroom, Sirius was taking another pill. There was almost an urgency now. He had to be able to talk and shout and whisper. With Remus around, James's attention would have to be divided. James was the only one who could really understand him.   
  
"I'll just have to talk to Remus about it," thought Sirius as he then got out a tooth brush and brushed his teeth. Pulling out a brush next, he quickly straightened out his black hair and then exited the bathroom.   
  
James looked up when Sirius came into the room. "You're turn, mate," said Sirius, gesturing towards the bathroom. James noticed his scarred wrist. Although they were only 11 years old, Sirius had always felt like he was making people around him suffer, making him a very depressed boy at times. It wasn't until Sirius had been disowned when he realized how good pain felt when you had nothing to lose. He had taken a razor to his wrist at the age of 9. Luckily, Sirius had been found out immediately and the Potter's had been able to stop the profuse bleeding because Sirius had pushed harder than he meant to.   
  
James would never forget what he saw that one day, entering his bedroom to see Sirius sitting on the floor by his bed with a razor in his hand and blood spilling from his slashed wrist. The thing that had disturbed James the most was the expression on his friend's face. It was one that a madman might have after doing something really sick. It was a look that said Sirius was lost.   
  
James had helped Sirius through that hard time and although it wasn't spoken about any longer, Sirius remembred just as well as James did.   
  
Sirius remembered finding the razor and staring at it in fascination. He remembered how cold it felt against his wrist. He remembered how scared he had been at first of cutting and how he started to enjoy it. He remembered the gushing blood from the self-inficted wound. He remembered James panicked look as he screamed for his parents to come help him. He remembered blacking out and then waking up to see James staring at him.  
  
It was kind of odd that both Sirius and James were thinking about the cutting escapade at the same moment, but not surprising. The two boys shared everything. That included thoughts sometimes as well.   
  
Sirius sighed and looked at his hand and wrist. He hadn't cut himself since he had been discovered, but...it had felt good when the emotional pain seemed to great. Well, the emotional pain was getting pretty heavy. It wouldn't hurt if he just....just once maybe...or twice. Sirius shook his head angrily. He shouldn't be thinking like that. Sirius sighed. This was one of the many trials that he would have to face without James's help. Still....Sirius remembered the feel...and it felt good.   
  
Making up his mind quickly, Sirius rumaged around in his bag and found something sharp. Hesitating very slightly, he quickly made four little red lines in his wrist. As he finished, James opened the door and glanced at Sirius, smiling slightly. Sirius gave his best fake smile in return and then pulled the sleeve of his shirt down as he hid his knife. James didn't need to know. Sirius would stop, but for the moment, the pain felt good. It felt real good.   
  
*********  
  
A.N. do i have to boost up the rating to pg-13? i wasn't planning that at all, it just...came to mind. anyways, in case you can't tell, i really don't have a clue about cutting. i never have and never will. that was the best i could do without any actual experience in such matters. anyways, please review and God bless you. next chapter will be up soon. 


	11. Cutting

A.N. ok, well, some people have been saying that sirius and remus are acting out of character. the way i figure it, fan fiction is about making up new personalities for characters. i don't know. i just like the idea of remus being a bit...mean at times and sirius just....i dont' know how to describe sirius right now. screwed up i guess. anyways, i'm sorry if you don't like the personalities i've given them, but...it was an accident to be quite honest. i really didn't mean for it to end up the way it did, otherwise the rating would be higher. but, there you go. so, i'm sorry if this insulted anyone, although i didn't try to do that either.*sighs* i'm just....confused. i'll bet you are too. i'm sorry.  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Weeks had gone by and Sirius continued to cut himself with an insane pleasure. He knew it wasn't normal for people to inflict pain on themselves, but it made the emotional pain easier to bear. It made it easier to ignore. He knew that if James found out, he would freak out.   
  
Oddly enough, Sirius almost wanted James to notice. It was an odd feeling, but at least if he noticed, then Sirius would know for certain whether or not James still wanted to be his friend. In fact, ever since that talk with James, while Remus was gone, he felt a void in his heart almost.   
  
It was morning and Sirius had come down to breakfast before James did. Sirius had been eating for about ten minutes when James came down and sat down next to him. Sirius looked up and gave him a small smile and continued to eat. James looked at him slightly worried, suddenly realizing that Sirius was never has happy as he used to be. In fact, he hadn't been for about a month. He quickly shook off the feeling though and began to eat his breakfast.   
  
Sirius, however, wasn't really eating. "Doesn't he even notice?" he wondered as he picked at his food. "Something's wrong, and he doesn't even notice?"   
  
James didn't really notice and breakfast passed by quickly and in silence. When both boys were done, James turned and looked Sirius straight in the eye. It was then that he realized something was wrong. He knew he had seen that look before in his friend's eye, but when had it been? What had been happening? He shook that off too as just an insane feeling.   
  
James gestured for Sirius to follow him to their class, Potions with Professor Jade. Remus was, once again, visiting an ill relative. Sirius and Remus still hadn't really become friends, but they weren't so...hostile to each other anymore.   
  
Sirius walked slowly, surprising James. Sirius was usually so filled with energy, so it was kind of shocking when he was tired and...lazy almost. Now James knew something was wrong, but what?   
  
James was interrupted from his thoughts when Sirius suddenly fell over into him, surprising James. It was then that James noticed how pale he was, how sickly his eyes were. Although they had made eye contact mere minutes ago, James hadn't really been searching for something. Now he was. It was almost with a desperateness about him that James searched his memory for the same expression on the mute boy's face.   
  
It hit him. Suddenly. Like a bolt of lightening. Nine years old. Sirius sitting on the floor by his bed. Blood. Everywhere. Pale Sirius. Sick look. Desperate, sad, tired. No energy.   
  
Now understanding what was wrong with his friend, James pulled up the boy's sleeve to make sure he was correct. Sirius was too weak to stop him. The sight that met James's eyes made his face go pale. Sure enough there were several thin red lines on Sirius's arm.   
  
"Oh crap," muttered James and quickly began to walk in the direction of the hospital wing. Sirius weakly attempted to protest about being dragged away, but James was stronger than Sirius and held him tight.  
  
"Come on, you're going to the hospital wing. Why did you do this again? I thought you were over your family. Is it because of what I said a month ago? When did you start? Why didn't you tell me something was wrong? What happened?"  
  
Sirius absorbed all of James's questions without replying, although he couldn't even if he had had the answers. Sirius was starting to see black around the edge of his vision and his body was beginning to feel heavier.   
  
James was on the brink of panic. Although Sirius wasn't bleeding, he had still lost a lot of blood over the weeks in which he had been cutting himself. James wanted to kick himself for not noticing Sirius's depression earlier. He should have realized something was up when Sirius didn't want to eat a lot, when he spent an excessive amount of time in the bathroom, when he noticed that Sirius seemed to only wear long sleeved shirts.   
  
"James," a voice called out behind him, sounding slightly worried. James recognized it as Remus, but didn't stop his jog to the hospital wing.   
  
"James," Remus called again, running up to the two boys. When he saw Sirius his face blanched and he glanced at James with a nervous expression on his face. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," came James's hurried reply as he started dragging Sirius down a flight of stairs. "Just go to class and tell Professor Jade that Sirius and I are at the hospital wing. I'll explain things later."  
  
"Um...ok." Remus ran of to class and James continued to hurry to the hospital wing. James silently hoped that Sirius would start to help him. Sirius didn't weigh much, due to not eating much, but he was still heavy enough to be a great burden to James.   
  
"Come on, buddy. You gotta help me out a bit," pleaded James as he half dragged half carried to the hospital wing. Sirius seemed to comprehend him and attempted to carry his own weight. It didn't work out well, and James ended up carrying him again.   
  
After what seemed like forever, James threw open the door to the hospital wing and hauled Sirius in.   
  
"Mr. Potter!" screeched Madam Pomfery, not seeing Sirius. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in class! If you're hurt because of another prank gone wrong I'll-"   
  
"No, Madam Pomfery, you need to help Sirius. He just collapsed against me on the way to Potions. He's...he's been cutting himself," interrupted James, urgency showing in his voice as he tried to keep from going hysterical.   
  
"Mr. Black...? What the-oh my gosh. He's been cutting himself?"  
  
"Yes, ma'am."  
  
"Oh my word. Mr. Potter, please help me get him over here," urged Madam Pomfery and carefully picked up Sirius, who was almost unconscience.   
  
Once she and James had the injured boy on the bed, Madam Pomfery promptly shooed James out of the hospital wing, telling him to go to class.  
  
James did so, only because he had nothing else to do. As he walked to class, millions of questions floated around in his head. There was one question that stuck out more clearly than the other ones. Why?  
  
***********  
  
A.N. how was that? i still don't have a clue what i'm writing about, just to warn you all. hmm...do you think this could be considered angst? hmm. anyways, is there anything you would like to see in later chapters? if so, please tell me. i'm just a big jumbled confused mess in my brain, so any help would be nice. muchas gracias. review, por favor. 


	12. New Friends

A.N. yo, how you all doing? i hope good. anyways, i'm sorry i haven't reviewed for a while, although it wasn't my fault. i'm a flippin' high school student for goodness sakes! anyways, has i've said before, i have no clue about cutting so....i'm sorry if it's not really realistic.  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Sirius fought to regain his conscienceness. He finally managed to blink his eyes open and he looked around. He found himself in the hospital wing. There, sitting next to him was James Potter, dozing slightly in his chair.   
  
Sirius looked at him closely before examining his arms. There were still several scars on his arm and he sill felt weak. Of course, no one else knew why he was so weak. Cutting oneself usually didn't result in that kind of consequence unless he lost an excessive amount of blood. The truth was Sirius hadn't been eating at all for the last month. It would seem that Sirius lost his appetite when he cut himself for no explainable reason. In other words, he'd been starving himself for the past month.   
  
Sirius looked at a needle that was going into his arm. It looked like some kind of muggle invention. An IV? Maybe. Who knew?  
  
Sudden movement to Sirius's side caught his attention and he saw James awakening.   
  
James shook his head and made his eyes focus before gazing over at Sirius who was gazing right back at him. For a moment they just stared at each other. Then James lunged at him and gave him a big, tight hug around his waste.  
  
When he pulled away, he hit Sirius hard on the shoulder. "Don't you EVER do something like that again or I'll murder you!"   
  
Sirius smiled slightly and shook his head. He gazed around again. "Did you tell Remus?" he asked.  
  
James looked at Sirius closely and then shook his head. "No, it wasn't my secret to tell. I think you should tell him though."  
  
"What? Why? He's not even really tried to be my friend since the moment he learned my name on the train. I don't know why I should even bother."  
  
"Well, you haven't been trying to be friendly either," James pointed out, almost impatient sounding.   
  
Sirius, oddly enough, had no reply for that.   
  
After a few moments of silence, James said softly, "You know, he went to go get some spell placed on him so he could lip read. The same one my parents had placed on them when you first came to live with us."  
  
Sirius gaped at James then. Could Remus really have done that? Sirius had always assumed that Remus hated him because of his family. After a few moments, Sirius mouthed, "Really? He...he did that for me?"  
  
"Yep, and he's been really worried about you too. He wanted me to tell him, but I didn't. He's...he's coming in later to see you."  
  
"How long have I been here?"  
  
"A few days. Three."   
  
"Three days? Why?"  
  
"Because you were starving yourself, you had cut yourself, and you were asleep the entire time!" exclaimed James angrily. "Sirius," he said in a softer voice,"why did you start again? You promised you wouldn't anymore. Yet...why?"  
  
"I don't know," replied Sirius after thinking about it for a moment. "I think I was tired of being underestimated, tired of being ignored, and tired...of my parents."  
  
"What do your parents have to do with this?" asked James.  
  
Sirius put his hand into his pocket and pulled out several wadded up pieces of paper. He handed them all to James who took them with a confused expression on his face. Silently, James opened them and read them. The first one brought a look of anger and sympathy to his face. Then sorrow and disbelief.   
  
When he was finished reading them, James looked up, a disgusted expression on his face. "Who would ever say that to you? You are absolutely none of those things."  
  
"Of course I am," argued Sirius, sitting up straighter in the bed. "I'm mute aren't I?"  
  
"Yes, but-oh. Your parents..."  
  
"Yep."  
  
Silence fell between the two friends once more. Sirius started coughing. James looked over to him, a worried expression on his face. James, for his part, couldn't believe that Sirius's parents could say that to him. It just seemed...unthinkable for a parent to be so cruel to their child.   
  
The door opened randomly and in walked Remus Lupin. James smiled slightly and Sirius looked uncertain. Remus walked right past James without even acknowledging him and stared straight at Sirius the entire time. When he reached Sirius's bedside, he quickly grabbed one of his arms and held it up to his eyes. His expression was unreadable and he soon let go of Sirius's arm. "So...what's wrong?" asked Remus, gazing down at the mute boy with a worried expression on his face. He wasn't really sure what to make of the boy yet. He knew that Sirius was not like the other Black's, but still....   
  
Sirius didn't answer, but only looked at Remus sharply, as if trying to detect some contempt. He didn't though and his gaze softened, giving him a tired look. Remus realized that and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Why are you cutting yourself?"  
  
"I'm mute," Sirius finally said, looking over to Remus to see if he understood. He looked slightly confused. "Remember what I said about my parents? About them not liking anything different? Well, I'm different and they've decided now is a good time to remind me."  
  
"But enough to make you want to hurt yourself. Enough to make you want to starve yourself?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "I've also been tired of being ignored and underestimated. I'm just as capable as everyone else here, if not more than most."  
  
"I believe you. But...cutting? Dude, it's not worth it."  
  
"Maybe for you, but not for me."  
  
"Come on. I know we didn't get off on the best foot, but...we can start again, you know. I think it would be cool to be your frined."  
  
Sirius looked surprised at the offer. He smiled slightly and then nodded. "I agree. I'm Sirius Black," he said, holding out his hand to shake his.  
  
Remus returned the hand shake and said softly, "Remus Lupin."  
  
James suddenly jumped up, happy that his two friends had stopped fueding about absolutely nothing. "And I'm James Potter!" he exclaimed, causing Remus and Sirius to laugh and throw pillows at him. "Hey!"   
  
********  
  
A.N.: how was that? i don't think it was very good, but.....i don't know. please review. the next one will be longer. muchas gracias. 


	13. The Letter

A.N: so, how was that last chapter? i don't know. i don't care. ah well. i'll continue writing because i've gotten past the depressing parts. i wrote all that cutting stuff when i was really depressed. so...now i'm not because i just got finished doing a SOCK PUPPET PLAY!!! sorry, anyways, here's the next chapter. enjoy.  
  
Chapter 13  
  
Sirius was not permitted to leave the hospital wing for a week because of his malnutrition. James and Remus were always by his side when they didn't have classes to attend, and they both helped him through his homework. Sirius was happy once again and he didn't think anymore about the things that had made him sad in the first place.   
  
That was until he was out of the hospital wing. He'd been out for a week with the days passing with their regular classes and meals. Then another letter arrived for him. It was now the 3rd of December and Sirius was looking forward to the break because he had missed seeing Mr. and Mrs. Potter.   
  
They were at breakfast and the usual owl post came in. A letter came and landed next to James and then an owl landed with a letter for Sirius. He looked at it curiously and then glanced at James who also looked curious.  
  
Sirius opened it and read what the letter said. It was another letter from his parents. Sirius rolled his eyes and read it.  
  
To Sirius Black,  
  
The Black family would be most happy if you would join us for Christmas dinner. In fact, it's highly suggested that you do, considering the consequences of not coming would be horrendous. Please reply to this owl immediately. Whether or not you agree to come, you'll be here for Christmas. Whether we have to get you here by force or not.   
  
Sincerely,  
  
The Black Family  
  
Sirius stared at the letter in shock and fear. He remembered his parents and hated all of his memories. He had always been different and they had always known it and had treated him as if he were different. And then his mom had placed that muting charm on him...what was he to think.  
  
All of the letters he had received before his cutting problem had been insulting him. Telling him he was a blood traitor, how he was abnormal, a disgrace, a mark on their perfect family. And then here they were, commanding him that he come home.   
  
"Sirius, what's wrong?" asked James, glancing at his friend. Sirius had been staring at the table vacantly. He was also shaking slightly. "Yo, buddy," he said again, gently shaking Sirius's shoulder.   
  
Instead of answering James, Sirius just thrust the letter at him and James looked at it slightly confused. Sirius nodded for him to read it and James opened it hesitantly and began reading it. His look of confusion turned to one of anger, disdain, and sorrow.  
  
"What should I do?" mouthed Sirius, looking distraught. His parents hated him, he knew that. His brother, Regulus, despised him. The rest of his family couldn't even stand looking at him. Why in the world did they want him at their house?  
  
"I know why," Sirius thought to himself,"they just want to torment me for being in the wrong house. For being a friend to a Potter. For being mute."   
  
"I don't think you should go," James simply said. The problem was the Black's had every right to demand that their child come back to their house. James's parents had never tried to get guardianship of the young Black, and he had never asked for it. James had heard them talking about it late one night. Their excuse was he might want to go back home. That his parents might change. However, judging by the look on Sirius's face, nothing was going to be different.   
  
"How do I not go? They have every right to demand my presence," Sirius said, reading James's mind.  
  
"But you have the right not to go."  
  
"I have to. They are my parents and I have no other legal guardians that I would want to go to."  
  
James could see the slightly bitter expression in his friend's face and inwardly flinched. "My parents will fight for you, Sirius. You know that."  
  
"But do they want to?"  
  
*********  
  
A.N.: dun dun dun. ooh. that's short too, isn't it. *sighs* oh well. please review. 


	14. Fears Revealed

A.N.: i don't have anything to say except...i still don't own it. read on!  
  
Chapter 14  
  
James sat there shocked. Why in the world would Sirius think his parents didn't want guardianship of him? Of course his parents would fight for him and want to. They would win too.   
  
"Of course my parents would want to fight for you!" exclaimed James, looking at his friend with surprise on his face.   
  
"How do you know that? If they had wanted to, they would have done it when I first came to live with you two years ago."  
  
Now James was speechless. Sirius did have a point. What if his parents didn't really want guardianship of Sirius? He shook his head slightly. That was a stupid thought. Of course they did. There was only going to be one way to convince Sirius though.  
  
"I'm going to send a letter to my parents about this," James said with such a finality in his voice that Sirius knew it would be pointless to argue. It made it harder to argue when you were mute because no one knew what you were saying unless you were being looked at directly.   
  
James got up and walked out of the great hall without looking at Sirius, not wanting to know what his reply was. He walked to the owlery and sat down to write a quick note.  
  
Dear Mom and Dad,  
  
I'm doing fine and I'm not getting into too much trouble. Sirius just got a letter though, from his parents. He's been getting them since the beginning of the year, and most of them just told him how horrible he his and what happens to blood traitors. However, the letter he got today said that his parents wanted him home for the Christmas holidays. Of course, you don't have full guardianship of him so....I don't know. He's worried that you don't want full guardianship of him. Maybe you should send him a letter telling him otherwise. I've gotta go to class now, so bye.  
  
Love you,  
  
James  
  
James looked over the letter real quick and he knew that it was kind of lame, but he tied it to an owl's leg and sent it anyways. James watched it fly away and then he walked down to his first class for the day, defense against the dark arts. This was Sirius's favorite subject, and was the best in it. James liked transfiguration more, and was the best in his class in that subject, with Sirius and Lily Evans coming in a close second and third.  
  
When he entered the class he saw Sirius sitting there gazing at his hands. He seemed lost and uncertain as to what was happening to him. James sighed softly and walked over to his friend and sat down by him.   
  
"I just sent the letter to my parents. You are not going to go to your parent's house for the holidays. I won't let you. You'll just get beat up if you go there and you know it. Chances are they'll kill you because you got into Gryffindor. And you won't be able to defend yourself either because you can't talk!"   
  
Sirius looked at him, his eyes going wide at the last sentence. His eyes went a dark blue and James was suddenly a bit worried that he had said the wrong thing. Sirius shook his head slightly and then turned to get out his book and wand.   
  
James sighed again. What did he have to say to get his friend to see how foolish it would be for him to go home? Actually, James was pretty sure that Sirius realized that, but Sirius was also afraid that his family would do something to the Potter family if he didn't go. James would have to talk to him about that after class.  
  
"Ok class," the defense against the arts teacher, Professor Gump, called out to get their attention. "I know we're facing this a bit early, but today, we'll be battling a boggart. I had nothing else planned and I ran across one earlier so I thought you would be mature enough to handle this...I hope," he added as an afterthought. "Anyways, who knows what a boggart is?"  
  
Sirius raised his hand almost hesitantly. He never voluntered in class simply because the teacher's couldn't understand what he was saying. However, he knew the answer and was determined to prove it. His mother had always had an assortment of odd dark creatures around the house, so he knew what most of the creatures were. He would sometimes stumble across one of them and either only have the crap scared out of him or have the crap scared out of him and also have a few scars to show for it.  
  
Professor Gump looked slightly shocked when he saw Sirius's raised hand, but he called Sirius's name and Sirius began to explain: "Boggarts are dark creatures that turn into what people fear the most. They can be defeated by laughter."  
  
Professor Gump looked at James, and said,"What did he say, Mr. Potter?"  
  
James repeated what Sirius said and the professor nodded in approval. "That is correct Mr. Black." The professor went on to explain how to defeat it and then he lined the students up in the order in which they would face the boggart.  
  
Some Hufflepuff girl went first and the boggart turned into a green frog. She easily overcame it and then a Gryffindor went. Sirius was towards the end of the line and James was right next to him, considering Professor Gump thought James might need to translate some more. The line went fairly quickly, and before he knew it, it was James's turn.  
  
James boldly walked up to where the boggart was. The boggart turned into a werewolf, and James raised his eyebrows, before cracking up for some unknown reason. No one noticed how stiff Remus Lupin went when he saw his best friend's worst fear. No one saw the slight look of betrayal in his eyes. No one saw him look away in embaressment. No one saw a small tear trickle down his cheek. No one noticed him at all. Instead they all waited for the next person.   
  
It was Sirius's turn and Sirius walked with an air of confidence and cockiness to where the boggart was, pausing for a moment to drink a potion that was in a vial. When Sirius stepped up to the boggart, it turned into Sirius, looking beaten up on the ground, with James standing over him laughing and looking threatening. Sirius(the real Sirius) looked at it in shock and took a small step backwards. "Riddikulus!" he thought mouthed, thinking of the effect it would have with all of his might. It didn't work. The potion failed him. Sirius tried again, but once again, he failed. Sirius cowered back from the illusion. The boggart James was now putting a nasty curse on the boggart Sirius. Professor Gump interrupted the boggart by turning it into his worst fear. When the professor managed to destroy the boggart, he dismissed the class, looking at Sirius with sympathy and worry. "It's ok, Mr. Black. You'll do better next time," he muttered as Sirius walked past.  
  
Once out of the classroom, Sirius refused to meet James's eyes. Now James really wouldn't want to be his friend. Sirius hurried off down the hall, leaving James to look after his friend's retreating back with a worried expression on his face.   
  
Just as James was going to walk towards his next class, Professor Gump came out of the classroom and beckoned for James to reenter with him. James did so and the professor leaned against his desk and looked at James intently.   
  
  
  
"Do you have any idea why that would be Mr. Black's worst fear?" he asked after a few moments of silence.  
  
"Well..."James began, uncertain as to whether or not he should say anything. Of course he had to, so he did. "Sirius has always been terrified of being hurt by people he cares about, and who cares about him. He's also terrified of being left by someone who he thought cared about him. His parents kind of disowned him when he was nine years old and he's been paranoid of being left ever since then."  
  
"Oh," was all Professor Gump said. "Mr. Black doesn't have anything to worry about then. You obviously care about him as if he were your brother. He needs to know that. And if he does know that, you need to reassure him of it."   
  
James nodded slightly and then realized he was being dismissed when silence fell among the two wizards. James said a hurried "Thank you, Professor." and then quickly walked out of the classroom, intending to find Sirius to talk to him about the stupid boggart.  
  
************  
  
A.N. i think that one was longer. please pardon any spelling errors i may have. thanks. please review! 


	15. Decisions and Confessions

A.N. ok, here we go, next chapter. i own absoultely nothing, so how do you expect me to own harry potter? good, now that we've sorted that out, read on.  
  
Chapter 15  
  
It took James longer to find Sirius longer to find than he had thought, but he eventually found him curled into a ball on his bed. James was about to kick himself for not finding him sooner. He should have realized his friend would be in their dormitory.   
  
"Hey, Sirius...are you alright?" asked James, knowing the answer already.   
  
Sirius just looked up at him with a glare on his face and gestured his hands to get James to leave.   
  
"I'm not going to leave when you're upset and ready to blow something up. That's not what friends do," argued James and walked over to sit by his friend. Gently, he placed his hand on his distraught friend's back. Sirius seemed to tense up under his touch and seemed to be suppressing a flinch.  
  
"You must think I'm such a wimp and a loser, and a horrible friend," Sirius said after a few moments of silence. "Only a bad friend would think something like that of his best friend."  
  
"You have every right to be afraid of that," said James, gently tilting Sirius's head so Blue eyes were meeting Brown eyes. "People have hurt you before. If I had to go through what you've had to go through...I'd probably be dead."  
  
Sirius shook his head slightly and turned to stare out the window. "You have class," he mouthed. Something was bothering him more than just the boggart, and James intended to find out.  
  
"Sirius, what's wrong?" asked James sternly. "I know it's not just the boggart, so you might as well answer me."  
  
Sirius turned to look at his best friend again. "I'm going to go to my family's house for Christmas and there's nothing you can do to stop me. I don't want to feel like a burden to your family. I don't want to feel as if I'm putting them in danger just because I was too selfish to face my own family. Maybe they've changed. I doubt it, but...it's possible. They might want me back. My family might WANT me. They also might just want to torture me, but right now that's a chance I'm willing to take. Please don't try to talk me out of this either. While I'm at my parent's house, your parents can try to get full guardianship of me if they want to, which I don't see why they would. I, however, have to obey my parents until your parents sign for guardianship. That's the way it has to be, and I accept that. You should too. Just...do you think it'll be alright if I come see you if they do get abuseive?"  
  
"Of course it will be alright. You live with us, and as far as I'm concerned, you have the same right to be there as I do."  
  
"You should be in class," Sirius changed the subject.   
  
"You're more important to me than any class is."  
  
"I would hope so," retorted Sirius. Silence fell between the two boys again.   
  
"What am I going to tell my parents?" inquired James, breaking the silence again.   
  
"The truth, and that if they want guardianship of me, they have to get it soon. I'd prefer not to go "home" for Christmas, but...I don't want to put your family in danger."  
  
"You wouldn't put my family in danger. What could your parents do?"  
  
Sirius gave James a pointed look. "It's what they are willing to do that I'm more afraid of."  
  
James sighed and looked out the window. He almost wished that he had gone to class now. Not because he didn't want to help Sirius, but because all of his "helping" was giving him a headache. "Siri, you do realize that you are my best friend too," he finally said.   
  
Sirius looked slightly confused. "Of course I know that. I've been living with you for two years. Most people bond over that amount of time."  
  
"But...you do realize that you're like my brother?"  
  
"Of course. The feeling is mutual, I might add."  
  
James smiled, suddenly relieved for some odd reason. There was silence again and James looked over at Sirius. His Sirius (but not like that). The Sirius that he had saved from a horrible family. The Sirius that he had saved from loneliness because of his impairment. The Sirius who was considered part of the family. The Sirius who always seemed to have some type of problems going on.   
  
James sighed inaudibly. He had a feeling that there was something that Sirius wasn't telling him and he was determined to discover what it was.  
  
**********  
  
A.N. ok, i'm sorry that sucked, but i wrote that in like 15 minutes time. please review. it's gonna get cheerful after Christmas. i hope. review review review!!! whoa i sound desperate. 


	16. Going Home

A.n. i'm mad, i finished this chapter this morning and....well the computer is just a stupid thing sometimes. anyways, i'm so sorry for the delay on this chapter. i've been suffering from sleep deprivation and mild depression. plus, i've been trying to write songs for my band. anyways, i'm not complaining, just explaining why i haven't been posting this blasted chapter. if all had gone well, it'd be up already. but....old murphy just had to interject there. anyways, enough of my chattering. read on. (still don't own it)  
  
Chapter 16  
  
  
  
The weeks before Christmas break, for Sirius, seemed to just fly by. This was bad, considering Sirius was still wondering if he had made the correct decision to go to his parent's house. It was kind of odd to call it his parent's house. He knew that most children actually lived with their parents so therefore it should be his house too. However, life wasn't always fair and not everyone got dealt a prefect hand.   
  
Sirius sighed as he sat on his bed late one night.It was the day before he had to depart for Grimmauld Place and his mood had been steadily going downwards. It was true, he could have gone to the Potter's house, but...it didn't seem right for some reason. His parents wanted him to come home. And...Sirius hated being a burden, even though no one actually considered him one.   
  
James's parents had sent Sirius the letter that James had requested. Sirius had read it and had put it aside scornfully. It had sounded to well rehearsed (well, for a letter) to actually mean anything. It had basically just said how much the Potter's cared about him and how they were willing to fight for him. While Sirius was grateful to hear this, he wasn't sure whether or not to believe it. Life was just...too jacked up for him at the moment for him to think straight.   
  
"Are you alright?" asked James from behind him, having just entered the dormitory. Sirius had his back facing the door, so James wouldn't be able to see what he was saying, so he simply nodded. "I don't think you are," said James, walking over and sitting by his best friend. Gently, he put his hand on Sirius's shoulder, gently rubbing it in circles, as if trying to get his friend to open up to him.  
  
It must have worked because, Sirius opened his mouth and said,"If something bad happens, do you think it'll be alright if I come and spend the rest of the holidays with you? I mean, will your parents mind?"  
  
"Of course not," replied James. Sirius had never had to ask if he could go to the Potter's house before. It was just then that James realized how terrified his best friend was. "Sirius, you know, you don't have to go."  
  
"Yes I do. You have no idea what they could do to your family. You think it's just an empty threat. It's not. They actually do things like that just to get there way," snapped Sirius, his face filled with fury.   
  
Not at me, thought James as he stared into his friend's cold eyes. This was the kind of state that James didn't like to see Sirius in. It reminded him too much of his other family members. This was also the attitude he didn't like seeing. Sirius, like all the rest of the Black's, were overly stubborn. They wouldn't give into anything because of their blasted pride. It was annoying when you were trying to talk sense into any of them.   
  
"Maybe I don't know what your family will do. But....I just don't want to see you getting hurt. That hurts me too. I...I guess I want to protect you. I know you don't really need it but...."James trailed off, uncertain as to what else to say.   
  
Sirius looked up and gazed at his friend. The person who had always been there for him. "Sorry James," he mouthed. "There aren't any other options. None that I really want to take right now."  
  
James sighed and nodded in a way that said he understood. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was about 11:30. "We should go to bed. We have to leave tomorrow."  
  
Sirius threw James a look that was filled with sadness, tiredness, and something else. For a minute, James thought it might have been something like... self-loathing? No, thought James. But he glanced at Sirius with a slightly worried expression on his face before heading to his own bed.   
  
James could hear Sirius turning over in his bed as he tried to get comfortable. James fell asleep within moments.   
  
Later though, he was awoken by someone bumping into his shoulder. James opened his eyes to glance at his clock. It was 3:39. He groaned and looked up to see Sirius's blue eyes staring at him.   
  
"What's wrong Sirius?" asked James groggily. He had to strain to see what Sirius said because of the darkness.  
  
"I had another nightmare and I was wondering if I could spend the rest of the night....you know, with you," answered Sirius.  
  
James yawned and then nodded. He scooted over for his friend to slip in under the covers and then he put his arms around Sirius, giving him a big hug. "Why do you have to go through so much, Sirius?" he asked softly when he was sure that his friend was asleep. "Why are you made to suffer?"  
  
**************  
  
The next morning, James woke up to an unnatural weight on his arms, and he blinked slightly as he saw Sirius. He was still fast asleep so James carefully got out of his bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. When he came out, Sirius was still sleeping. Jame had a feeling that Sirius hadn't gotten much sleep and when he had gone to sleep, he had had a nightmare. James shook his head. Who was going to comfort him during Christmas break?  
  
Sighing, James shook Sirius's shoulder. Sirius abuptly woke up and looked a bit confused, but one glance around explained everything and a small smile went across his face and he got up, stretching his arms and legs out. Then Sirius walked into the bathroom to take a shower.  
  
While Sirius was showering, James started packing up his things. About 10 mintues later, Sirius came out and he too began to pack. Remus, it seemed, had been up for hours before them and was sitting on his bed, reading. It would appear that he had packed much earlier.   
  
There was no noise in the room, as all three boys were horribly apprehensive. Sirius was unhappy about his family. Remus was upset about the fact that his monthly "condition" was during the break. James was worried about both of his friends because Remus really hadn't said much since the day when they all faced the boggart.   
  
"Well..." James said when he and Sirius were all packed. Remus looked up and then glanced at his watch.  
  
"We should probably go down," he said softly, and got up, taking his trunk with him. James and Sirius followed.   
  
The train ride was also very quiet. All of them were still thinking about their own predicaments. James was willing to bet anything that Sirius would show up at his house within a week. Sirius was thinking something along the same lines. Remus was wondering if his parents really wanted him to come home for the holidays.  
  
When the train slowed to a stop, Sirius stood up and gave James a quick hug good bye. Showing any kind of emotions in front of his parents was a really bad idea. The three boys all gathered their items and walked out of the compartment.   
  
Remus quickly found his parents and walked over to them, waving back at James and Sirius. Mr. and Mrs. Potter found the two boys and ran over to them, wrapping them both in big hugs. Sirius, however, pulled away. He seemed to be looking over Mrs. Potter's shoulder. Mrs. Potter turned around and saw Mr. and Mrs. Black standing there, glaring at their son.  
  
Sirius smiled sadly at James and then walked over to his parents. For the first time in two years, Sirius was actually going to confront his parents, his brother, the house elf, the old house, and his memories. For the first time in two years, Sirius felt as if his life had suddenly become a living hell.  
  
***********  
  
a.n. how was that? i think that chapter is pretty good, but that's just my opinion, might not be yours. oh well. please review. thanks. you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter. i hope. 


	17. Consequences

a.n. alright, to all three of the people who reviewed....THANK YOU. lol. yeah. i know that chapter was unexciting and wasn't very satisfying and was rather boring and rather....blah, but anyways, i just ran out of time to add more so i figured i'd add the chapter and then write another one soon. i didn't expect to be going to a dance or to be washing cars wihin that time period. so it didn't happen. oh, by the way, i think everyone's overexaggerating about how great this story is. hmm. then again, i am the author and most author's(non-proffessional) think their writing is crap. anyways, there's my essay on....whatever was in my mind. here's el chaptero. teeheehee.  
  
Chapter 17  
  
The ride to Grimmauld place was filled with deathly silence. Mrs. Black kept looking back at her son with a bit of loathing in her eyes. "Why did they want me to come home if they are just going to glare at me the entire time?" Sirius thought, looking down at his lap sadly. Somewhere deep in his heart he had hoped that they actually wanted him again, despite what his mind had been telling him.   
  
When the Blacks arrived at the house, Sirius got his trunk out of the back of the car and he dragged it into the house. Regulus was sitting on the couch when Sirius walked inside, and he gave his older brother an evil glare. Regulus was two years younger than Sirius, but he was obviously the favored son.   
  
"Do you remember which room is yours?" snarled his mother. Sirius almost cringed, but he restrained himself. Instead, he nodded and pulled his trunk up the stairs.   
  
When he got to his room, he opened the door and walked in. There was a small desk in one corner and a bed in another corner. That was how much the room was furnished. His parents hadn't changed it a bit. Even when Sirius did live there, it didn't seem as if anyone lived there. Sirius glanced around quickly and then he dragged his trunk in and set it at the end of his bed.   
  
Opening his trunk, Sirius pulled out a letter that his parents had sent him after the one demanding that he come home. He opened it and read for the thirteenth time:  
  
Dear Sirius,  
  
We know that you will come home for the holidays, simply because you value your friend' life. However, we also want you to live with us until you graduate from Hogwarts. This is not for parental love, it is to keep you in line. Heaven's know you need it. We could make your life a living hell, without actually killing anyone. Don't underestimate us there. You will come home, and we'll discuss this other matter later.   
  
Sincerely,  
  
the Black family  
  
Shaking his head slightly, Sirius put the letter away when he heard his mother calling for him. He got up and walked out the door and slowly down the stairs. This was what he hadn't been telling James. We was almost certain that he wasn't going to stay at the Black house, but where would he go? If James's parents wouldn't fight for him, and they had every right not to, then Sirius would be stuck with the Black's.   
  
"What mother?" asked Sirius, mouthing like he usually did until he realized who he was talking to. His mom simply gave him a strange look, one that was also filled with danger. It turns out Sirius would be forced to use the spell he had had to use on Remus. He mentally summoned his wand, and then thought the spell. It worked, and Sirius spoke quickly, already feeling tired from the spell. "What mother?" he asked, his voice going through her mind quite clearly.   
  
  
  
"Oh, your father wishes to speak with you. He can't read lips," she said with scorn in her voice, "so you will have to use that spell, I guess."  
  
Sirius nodded. Walking into his father's study and, despite his exhaustion, casting the spell, Sirius stated, "You wished to see me father?"  
  
Looking a bit shocked at the spell that Sirius used, Mr. Black quickly recovered himself and said,"Yes, I did." Mr. Black hesitated for a moment and then began, " You do remember that last letter you received, don't you?"   
  
Sirius nodded. He had just been reading it. He hated it. And he knew what his father was going to do.   
  
"Well, you do realize that we meant every word of it. Except, we don't really WANT you too, it's more of a...necessary thing to make sure you don't totally disgrace our good name. And you will stay. There is no way out of it. No one wants you. You have no other options."   
  
This made Sirius angry. If James's parents didn't want him, then at least James did. At least, Sirius thought he did. A horrible thought occured to him. What if James really didn't like him? What if it was all out of pity? Sirius pushed those thoughts out of his mind angrily.   
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Black would want me. They would fight for me. They said so."  
  
"Maybe they did, but they also lied. Plus, why would you want to live with Mudblood lovers such as them. They're blood traitors, just like you."  
  
"I would rather live with them than you. They at least have manners." Sirius's voice was now shouting in Mr. Black's mind. Angry at his son, Mr. Black moved forward and backhanded the child across the cheek. Staggering back slightly with his hand on his face, Sirius continued, "Plus, I'd rather be a blood traitor and have people who care about me than be a pureblood maniac who is hated by everyone."  
  
Mr. Black was now starting to lose his patience with his older son, and once again he struck him again. Now Sirius was up against the wall. Unfortunately, Sirius had never been good at holding his tongue, and he added, "A pureblood, son of a bitch, maniac!"   
  
Now infuriated, Sirius's father now attacked. He punched his son in the stomach, causing him to drop to his knees. He started kicking his son viciously. Soon, Sirius was starting to zone in and out. It seemed like hours before his father stopped beating him. Occassionally, Mr. Black had used a few curses on his son, and once he had even used the Crucio curse. It was amazing that Sirius was still conscious at the end of the beating.   
  
When Sirius's father was finished with him, he left the room, leaving his son lying on the floor in pain. There was blood everywhere around Sirius. Sitting up numbly, Sirius tried not to move his body too much. The pain was almost unbearable and any moment now he felt as if he was going to pass out.   
  
"James," he thought silently. He knew he had been an idiot to not go with the Potters. In fact, Sirius was considering going right now. There was no way for him to leave though. In his current state, it would be impossible for him to get up the stairs to his room, let alone halfway across the country.   
  
Struggling to stand up, Sirius made up his mind as to what he was going to do. He was going to use floo powder when his parents and brother were asleep. Nothing was unpacked and Sirius knew he would survive until he got to James's house. There was so much blood though and most likely a few broken bones. In fact, he was sure that his arm was broken. And maybe one of his legs. Not to mention his nose from being punched in his face. He was a mess... Shaking negative thoughts out of his head, Sirius half stumbled, half walked up the stairs.   
  
When he got to the top, his mother rounded on him. "Talking back to your father and you just got here! And you wonder why we didn't want you! We invite you to stay with us for the holidays and what do you do? Totally ungrateful!" she screeched.   
  
Still with a bit of a temper, despite his beating, Sirius yelled back, still with the spell, "You only wanted me to come so you could torture me. So you could try to get me to do something I don't want to. I'll never live with you. I'd rather die!"   
  
Mrs. Black's face went three shades of red. Angry red. Pulling back her hand, she slapped her son hard across the face. Not totally balanced, Sirius fell backwards, down the staircase. He saw his mother walk down after him, and then he blacked out.   
  
When he woke up again, it was night. Sirius knew he had to get out of there, whether he had his stuff or not. Stumbling over to the fireplace, Sirius reached into a little pot and grabbed a handful of floo powder. Throwing it into the fireplace and hoping it would work despite the fact that he was mute, Sirius shouted in his mind, "POTTER'S PLACE!"   
  
Sirius hit his head on the wall of the fireplace and was knocked out. The next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground in some strange house with strange people staring down at him.  
  
************  
  
"Why didn't he want to come?" asked Mrs. Potter once they were home. James had been sitting with his parents in the living room of their house since they got home. They had mostly been chatting about school and James's friends. Mr. and Mrs. Potter just couldn't understand why Sirius hadn't wanted to come to their house.  
  
"He was afraid something bad would happen because his parents had threatened him," replied James, looking down at his hands. He was worried about Sirius. His friend was probably enduring torture at that very moment. James glanced out the window. It was night time and the full moon was out.   
  
"Well, we could have handled that. Who knows what the Blacks might be doing to their son," snapped Mr. Potter, earning himself a warning glare from his wife. "I mean...um, I'm sure he's fine. Why would the Black's hurt their own son?"  
  
Just then, a small body shot out of the Potter's fireplace. They all jumped up to see who it was. When the reached the small shuddering body, they all gasped. Sirius Black lay there in a bloody mess.   
  
"Holy crap," whispered James.   
  
James's parents seemed to be paralyzed. Shortly though, Mrs. Potter snapped back into it, and told her husband to pick up the young boy. Mr. Potter went to comply, but Sirius seemed to flinch away from his touch ever so slightly.   
  
  
  
"He doesn't seem to recognize us," muttered Mrs. Potter. She pulled out her wand. James looked over at her questionly. "Don't worry. I'm just going to use a spell that will make him pass out for a while so we can get him comfortable in bed and a bit patched up."  
  
"Should I call someone from St. Mungo's?" asked Mr. Potter. Mrs. Potter shook her head. She used to work there, but had quit a little while after James had been born.   
  
"I think I can handle it," she replied, missing the look on James's face. He didn't like the idea of gambling with his best friend's life, but he seemed it would be best if he didn't say anything.   
  
Mr. Potter carried Sirius upstairs and put the young boy in his bed. Mrs. Potter stayed by him and began to take care of his injuries, gasping every now and then when she found a particuarly bad bruise or a broken bone. The night wore on as such and James stayed by his friend's side the entire time.  
  
When his mother had finished with him, James looked at her expectantly.   
  
"He'll be fine darling. We just have to wait for him to wake up on his own now." She paused, and glanced at her son. "Why is he so thin?"  
  
James hesitated and then decided it would be in everyone's best interests to tell her. "He's been...erm, starving himself. Well, not really that, but he hasn't been eating a lot. He's been in the hospital wing about 5 times for malnutrition."  
  
"Why didn't your father and I know this?"  
  
"Well, we kinda figured that Dumbledore would tell you. Guess we were wrong."  
  
"Yes you were." She glanced at Sirius and then sighed. "Well, I'm going to go to bed now. You can stay up I guess. Watch over him dear."   
  
Mrs. Potter got up and gently kissed both James and Sirius on the forehead and then left.   
  
  
  
James sat there in silence for a bit and then muttered, "Why didn't you listen? Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"   
  
Sometime early in the morning, James fell asleep, thinking about what might have happened to his best friend in his first few hours at home.   
  
**************  
  
a.n.: how was that? i made it really long to make up for all the other stupid chapters. i hoped you liked it. was it too depressing? i hope not. ah well. please review. if you do, i'll love you for forever. lol. ta. 


	18. Awakening Surprises

a.n. hey y'al. lol. i know i made that one stupid mistake. many people have commented on it and i'll be the first one to admit that i'm a scatterbrained idiot. lol. yes, it was supposed to be "potter", but silly me has too many thoughts going on through my head to keep everything straight. lol. oh dear. i'll just continue with the next chapter. teeheehee...  
  
Chapter 18  
  
Sirius didn't awaken for about three days. James sat by his side day and night, sometimes dozing off, and only getting out of his chair for food and other personal manners. He was constantly worried about his friend. What would the Blacks do about their son? Would the even care? Most likely not, considering they had put him in that state in the first place. Then again.... James sighed in frustration. If only his friend would wake up so he could ask him about what had happened.   
  
But, of course, when Sirius showed any signs of waking up, James was immediately pulled aside by his mother and told not to talk about what had happened. This just made James sigh in exasperation, but he obeyed her and he waited by Sirius more hopeful than he had been before. This was the day before he actually woke up.  
  
On the third day, James was dozing lightly in his chair when Sirius started to stir a bit. Even the slightest amount of movement was enough to wake James up, so when Sirius moved, James jumped up and was wide awake within moments.   
  
"Sirius?" asked James as his friend blinked his eyes opened and then looked at him. His eyes were slightly unfocused in the bright light, but they quickly adujusted.   
  
"James?" asked Sirius. James's mouth dropped and his mouth fell open.   
  
"What did you just say?" asked James, looking at his friend closely, afraid that he had misheard, of was hearing a ghost, or that his friend was simply using the spell. I mean, it wasn't possible, was it?   
  
"Where am I? Ow, and why do I hurt so much?" asked Sirius, actual words coming out of his mouth. He was speaking again.  
  
"Sirius...you can talk. You can talk!" exclaimed James excitedly.  
  
A smile flew across Sirius's face. "The potion must've worked then, I guess. But...I wouldn't get your hopes up. You should talk to your mom about it first. There might be something weird about this curse."  
  
  
  
"Stop being a pessimist. MOM!" James called out.  
  
"What James?" asked Mrs. Potter, running into the room looking worried. When she saw that Sirius was alright and wide awake, she turned on her son, and demanded "What's wrong?"   
  
"Nothing Mrs. Potter. I was just wondering what's up with this sudden change in my mute problem," answered Sirius, grinning at Mrs. Potter's shocked expression.  
  
"You can....you can talk? That's not possible. I don't think. It hasn't been a year since you started taking that potion, let alone three."  
  
"Is it going to last?" worried Sirius. He seemed to like his ability to speak, and James couldn't really blame him.  
  
"I don't know. I don't think I've ever heard of this happening before. I think I'll go do some research. Oh, but before I do that, is there anything you want? Any food, something to drink, something to keep you amused?"   
  
Sirius thought for a minute. Oddly enough, Sirius was starving. Or, perhaps not so odd, considering Sirius hadn't really eaten in forever. James had exaggerated when he had told his motehr that Sirius had been going to the hospital wing five times for malnutrition, but not by much. In truth, Sirius had only gone three times. Big difference, but hey. As long as he didn't die, he would be happy.   
  
"Um, some food would be nice. And no, I don't have any preferences at the moment. I'll eat just about anything right now. Pathetic as that might be," replied Sirius. Mrs. Potter nodded and walked out of the room.   
  
"Wow," James said after a few minutes in silence. "I never thought you'd be able to speak again. Shows how much faith I have."   
  
"Nah," Sirius said, waving his hand impatiently. "I wasn't really expecting it either."  
  
"What potion were you and my mom talking about?"  
  
"Your mom gave me a potion that would take about three years to work, but after that time, I would presumably have my speech back. This might just be a side-effect of the potion or something. Who knows. I'm not going to get overly happy about this until your mom can confirm it."  
  
"Ok, whatever floats your boat," muttered James, looking down at his hands. Sirius kept on changing. If he wasn't being suicidal he was being totally happy and ready for anything. If he wasn't sulking he was bouncing off the walls. If he wasn't mute then he was talking constantly. It was almost amazing how little James still knew of his best friend.   
  
Mrs. Potter came in at just that moment with a bowl of soup for Sirius and a glass of Moutain Dew. She set it on the table by his bed and sat down on the edge of it with a book in her other hand.  
  
"Well, Sirius. It seems like you'll be able to talk. At times anyways. This is like an on and off thing I guess. Most of the times you'll be able to talk, but other times you'll resort back to being mute."  
  
"So, I'll be able to talk most of the time?"  
  
"Yes," replied Mrs. Potter. Sirius smiled and James looked a bit confused by that, but was happy for his friend anyways.  
  
What would the people think when they got back. A Sirius Black who was able to say what was on his mind. A Sirius Black who would be able to snap back at people who insulted him. A Sirius Black who would be able to use his wand faster because he would be able to say the incantation faster.   
  
James sighed and closed his eyes as he thought all of that. What was the world coming to? The once peaceful life was now going to be turned into incredible mayhem. Uh oh, thought James and he shook his head slightly when he thought of the monster that had just been created.  
  
***********  
  
a.n. james doesn't really think that sirius is a monster, just a figure of speech. lol. i'm joking. well, actually i'm hoping you knew that. anyways, the next chapter is going to be them going back to school...i think. oh well. please review. if there are any stupid mistakes in this chapter please ignore them. i've been really...out of it lately, i guess.ah well. thanks for reading this. adios. 


	19. AN: sorry

A.N. um...ok. Well, I have a slight predicament while writing this story. You see, my computer literally died. So, as such, I am writing this from a friend's house and don't really have the time, inspiration, or will to write anything. So, for the present time, my story will not be updated for a while, unless I get inspiration while I'm at my friend's house. I'm so sorry to all of my fans out there. I really wasn't intending to leave on vacation without updating my story. I'm so sorry. I really am. When I get inspiration, I'll write it down and give it to my friend to post, OR when I get my computer back, I'll write then. I'm sorry. I really am. Thank you all for reading it though. When I do have a computer again, I'll post immediately. Thanks again. 


	20. Back to School

A.N. alright y'all, I'm back!!! yeah!!! i have a computer again, which makes me so happy it's sad. Oh well. anyways, mountain dew is the most awesome drink on the planet. it's green and filled with sugar and can seriously make a person incredibly high. ok...maybe not, but it seems to make everyone incredibly hyper! sighs go us! it really wasn't supposed to take 6 months for my computer to be fixed. sighs again oh well, it's fixed now and i'm happy. here's el capitulo!(the chapter)teeheehee.  
  
Chapter 19  
  
The rest of the winter break went by quickly. Sirius was having fun being able to express his thoughts whenever he wanted to. James, however, was starting to get annoyed by his overly opinionated friend. Not that he didn't love being able to hear his friend talk, it was just...after a while, silence sounds really good.  
  
When it was time to return, Mrs. Potter took the two boys to the train station after a hectic morning. The boys had thrown all of their things around their rooms and had to pack within a short amount of time. As such, they arrived at the station ten minutes before the train was going to leave.  
  
Quickly, the boys ran through the wall and dragged their trunks onto the train. Abandoning their items of belongings once they were onthe train (or in the middle of the hallway, as some other students found out) they went out to say good bye to Mrs. Potter.  
  
"Bye, Mum," James said, giving his mother a tight hug. She kissed him on the forehead and he groaned in feigned frustration.  
  
"Good bye, James. Good bye Sirius," Mrs. Potter replied, hugging Sirius and giving him a kiss on the forehead as well. UnlikeJames, Sirius didn't groan, he just smiled and turned around to get on the train.  
  
"Good bye, Mrs. Potter," Sirius called over his shoulder as he stepped onto the train.  
  
Once Mrs. Potter was sure that he couldn't hear her, she whispered to James, "Don't let him do anything stupid. Now that he cantalk I have a feeling that things are going to be a little bit..."  
  
"Different?" supplied James, glancing at the clock on the wall over his mother's shoulder.  
  
"Nah, really. Just...make sure he doesn't say things he really shouldn't be saying. I figured out over this break that he doesn't think before he speaks. That could be dangerous."  
  
"No problem, Mum," replied James, turning to get onto the train. "I'll make sure nothing bad happens." He got on the train, leaving his mom staring after him.  
  
"I'm sure you will, James," she muttered to herself. "I'm sure you will."  
  
On the train, the boys were busy trying to find a compartment to sit in. They couldn't find Remus anywhere. They were just about to give up when Remus's head popped out from a compartment. James smiled and eagerly dragged his trunk to the room. Sirius followed.  
  
"Where were you guys? I was starting to think that you missed the train," Remus stated as he stepped aside to let them in. He was looking at Sirius as he said it. Sirius simply smiled in response. It had been decided that Sirius tease Remus a bit.  
  
"Well, we got up really late and we kinda didn't pack at night, and we really aren't the cleanest people in the world. So we were scrambling around our rooms, and the other rooms of the house, mind you, for all of our stuff," James responded, hoisting his trunk up ontothe rack. He turned around and helped Sirius put his up too.  
  
"Oh, I can see that happening," Remus teased, looking at Sirius again. Sirius simply smiled. Inside he was dying to scream out, just toprove that he could. That, however, was not in the plan.  
  
After James and Sirius got settled, silence fell among the companions. Remus wanted to talk to Sirius about his disability, Siriusjust wanted to say something, and James wanted to do something incredibly stupid and random.  
  
"so...let's play chess," Remus said randomly. James sighed and nodded.  
  
"Nothing else to do, might as well," he muttered, somewhat frustrated at his own restlessness. "What about you Sirius, do you wantto play?" That was the cue for him to say something.  
  
Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but no words would come out. He looked stricken at James, who looked somewhat surprised. Why couldn't he talk? Well, they know why he couldn't talk, but...why rightthen?  
  
"Is anything wrong?" Remus asked, looking at his two friends with a worried expression on his face  
  
Sirius nodded in frustration. WHY did he have to go mute RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT?! "I was supposed to be able to talk because for some odd reason I gained my ability to speak over the break and it goes and comes randomly, but it wasn't supposed to happen right now! I was trying to tease you! It's not fair!"  
  
Remus watched Sirius mouth the words with growing fascination. Was he just spinning some crazy tale, or could he really talk, randomly though it may be. He glanced at James who nodded. Sirius looked rather irritable at that glance, but decided to ignore it.  
  
"I'm sorry Sirius," James said, looking concerned at how his friend would take it. Sirius tended to be a person of extremes. That was extremely scary to James at times. He never knew when his friend would blow things out of proportion.  
  
Sirius shrugged and mouthed,"Oh well, at least I'll be able to speak most of the time. According to your mom of course."  
  
"That's better than nothing though, right?" Remus added, trying to be helpful.  
  
Sirius smiled and nodded. Being able to speak even for one hour would have made him perfectly content. He just had to wait for this period of muteness to wear out.  
  
A.N. teeheehee. i'm so happy. sorry for typing errors. i have to relearn typing skills. sorry if this really sucks. i had to go back and review my own story...how sad is that. anyways, please review, flame(nothing that's blatantly obvious to anyone please, like give me REAL criticisms). yeah, flame, compliment, give indifferent opinions, whatever floats your boat. GO LAKERS!!! and mountain dew. teeheehee 


	21. Mwahaha, He Can Talk!

A.N.: mwahaha. now i'm never gonna shut up, 'cause i have a computer again. oh yeah, what now! teeheehee. anyways, boredom is really not a good thing with me, so...this chapter will be kinda...kooky. Disclaimer: (teehee, i love these!) i don't own it, i never will own it, and if i did own it, i most certainly would NOT be writing on this website.  
  
Chapter 20  
  
The train arrived at Hogwarts around 6:00. At that time, Sirius was dozing slightly in his seat, Remus was reading a book, and James was watching both of them. He was worried about Sirius. It still seemed way to easy for him to have gained his ability to speak again. Maybe...maybe something even worse had happened to his friend while he was at his parents house. Maybe his friend was trying to hide something even worse. But...Sirius had seemed way to happy for something to be even remotely wrong.  
  
James sighed in frustration. What the heck was wrong with him? He was usually the rational one who didn't think illogically. Remus glanced up from his book to look at James. He smiled weakly and then turned back to his book. There was also Remus to worry about as well, James realized with a start. He was always vanishing once a month. And when he returned, he looked like crap.  
  
The train came to a halt and James stood up quickly. Shaking Sirius's shoulder and attempting to get their trunks down at the same time, he somehow succeeded. Sirius looked up out of bleary blue eyes and then smiled weakly. He stood up and stretched his arms out. He opened his mouth to try and say something, but when no sound came out, he looked down at his feet with a sad expression on his face. James could feel sorrow radiating off of Sirius. And by glancing at Remus, he could too.  
  
"Oh well," Sirius mouthed and dragged his trunk out of the compartment. James and Remus followed quickly. Something's deffinately wrong, James thought to himself as he watched his two friends. From that moment on, he was determined to discern the ghosts that haunted his two best friends.  
  
When they arrived at the castle, they abandoned their trunks and went to find seats in the Great Hall. Just as Sirius was about to sit down, Snape's voice called out, "How ya doing mudblood lover? Having fun staying at the filthy Potter's house, blood traitor. I heard that your parents beat you up good! But you're not any good. Only a mute!"  
  
Anger immediately flashed into Sirius's eyes and he shouted out (much to everyone's surprise) ,"At least I wash my hair more than once a month, Snivillus! Not to mention the fact that even when I was mute I had far more talent than you ever had! So what does that tell you? Oh and what about the fact that I actually have friends, huh? I don't see yours anywhere!"  
  
After he said all that, his eyes widened as if he had just realized what had happened. He could talk again! But pure joy was replaced by worry immediately. When would the next muteness spell hit? How would he cope with that? He sighed and sat down. He would deal with that later, when he did become mute again.  
  
Everyone was staring at him in surprise, he noticed dimly. Even James and Remus. Oh well, he thought bittlerly, they probably all liked it when I couldn't say anything. Sirius could, however, enjoy seeing the shocked expression on Snape's face.  
  
"You know what mate," James said softly to him when he finally sat down,"I think your ability to speak again might not have been the best thing at that precise moment."  
  
Sirius grinned. He knew that James was thrilled that he could speak it was just...sometimes it was better when Sirius was silent. Sirius knew that he could have quite a dirty mouth whenever someone tried to bully him into something or insult him. That was part of the reason he got so many beatings as a child. Of course, it didn't help that his parents hated him, but hey, there's life.  
  
"I know, but...someone has to tell him off once in a while. It might as well be me. Plus," he added, a sly smile spreading across his face,"there was almost nothing more priceless than the expression on his face when he heard me yelling back."  
  
Remus shook his head, but he smiled anyways. He couldn't believe that just a few months ago he had thought that Sirius Black was the scum of the earth. It was hard to imagine a time when he didn't have any friends. It was hard to imagine a time when he wasn't happy as well. Life just seemed to be swell.  
  
Food suddenly appeared in front of all of the students. Hungrily, the three boys started grabbing for chicken legs and rolls and whatever else was within their immediate reach. After they finished stuffing themselves, however, the regretted it immensely.  
  
As they were walking up to their dormitory, Sirius groaned,"Oh, I'm so full. My stomach hurts!"  
  
"Mine too," James concured, holding his stomach.  
  
"I'm thinking you guys ate too much," Remus said, watching his two friends moan and groan. Unlike the two dark haired boys, Remus had been sensible and hadn't eaten everything that was in front of them. He was quite content with how much he had eaten.  
  
When they stepped into their dormitory, Sirius instantly ran to the bathroom. Through the closed door they could hear him retching.  
  
James glanced at Remus, "I think he ate too much."  
  
A.N. teeheehee. i'm so bored! I love mountain dew. i'm sitting here trying not to twitch too much, that's how hyper i am. i love it!!!! oh dear, i should probably not have drunk the entire two liter bottle. looks sick for a moment then grins like a moron oh well, it still tastes good. Now, have you ever had mountain dew syrrup? That's just nasty. it literally made me sick and hyper at the same time, AND I ONLY HAD TWO SIPS!!! anyways, that's enough about the best drink in the whole world. um...yeah, please review, thank you for all being so cool and noticing that i'm back and all, to those who reviewed. um...i can't tell if this is long or not because my word processor is kinda kooky. anyways, please review, i don't mind flames, just don't make me cry. teeheehee 


	22. Morning with James and Sirius

A.N. Ha ha ha. i have so much fun writing this story, just so y'all know. i know i'm kooky, but...hey, there's life. anyways, i'm like completely high on mountain dew right now(teehee, i've been mentioning mountain dew a lot recently, haven't i?) so if this chapter does not make any sense to you, it's because it really doesn't make much sense to me. have fun!  
Disclaimer: "what are we gonna do today brain?: "same thing we do everyday, Pinky, try and take over the world...of harry potter." in other words, i don't own it.  
  
Chapter 21  
  
Sirius woke up with a bright light shining in his face. "Oooh," he groaned, as he looked away from the light and pulled the covers over his head. "It's too early..."  
  
"So?" James's voice responded, but the light turned off anyways. "You always wake me up at this hour."  
  
"Don't care."  
  
"Ah, come on, Siri, why would you want to stay in bed all day when there's so much else we could be doing?"  
  
"'m sleepy...leave me alone," he grumbled into his pillow. If Sirius hadn't been so tired, he would have sat up and punched James in the face. As it was, the problem was that Sirius didn't have the energy right then, and as such didn't want to do anything but sleep.  
  
"I'm not gonna leave you alone until you get up," teased James, beginning to poke his unfortunate friend.  
  
Finally, Sirius sat up, pulling the covers off of his head. "You know, you're really hard to live with sometimes."  
  
"Only sometimes?" James gasped, feigning to be shocked.  
  
"You know, now that I think about it, you're always difficult to live with," Sirius teased.  
  
"You know," James muttered,"I think I liked it better when you couldn't say anything." Sirius laughed and then looked over at Remus's bed.  
  
"Where is Remus?" he asked, glancing around the dormitory.  
  
"Oh, he went down to study."  
  
"Study what?"  
  
"Who knows, it's Remus," replied James, pulling on Sirius's arms to get him out of bed. Frowning, Sirius glanced at his watch and fell back onto the bed.  
  
"It's only 6:30 in the bloody morning! What kind of person gets up at this time?!"  
  
"I do recall you dragging me out of bed at this time several times before. I just thought I'd return the favor." James smiled and started singing, "Rise and SHINE rise and SHINE!!!"  
  
"Shut the heck up..." Sirius sang and slammed his pillow over his ears so he couldn't hear his annoying friend any longer. When that didn't work, Sirius removed the pillow and murmered, "Sometimes I wish you were deaf."  
  
James smiled slightly and suddenly got all mysterious, "Be careful what you wish for...oooh."  
  
Sirius groaned and pulled himself out of bed. "Alright I'm up. I'm ready to face the day...not really, but what can I do."  
  
"Act happy for one," James said, smiling and tugging at his friends arm. "Let's go do something exciting! Like, like, like...I don't know. Something exciting!"  
  
"How about you let me get some clothes on and you try not to act like some looney on crack," suggested Sirius sarcastically and walked towards the bathroom.  
  
"An excellent idea," James called after him.  
  
Sirius closed the door and pulled out the pill bottle. Did he still need to take them? Oh well, he might as well, just in case. He liked talking way to much to lose it just because he was a moron. Outside he could hear James talking to himself. Sirius shook his head and swallowed the pills.  
  
Moments later, Sirius exited the bathroom, dressed in a black shirt and jeans. Considering it was a Saturday, he did not have to wear his robe. Which was nice, because he always thought it made him look fat...not really, but ok.  
  
"Well that took long enough," James said, bouncing up and down.  
  
"Are you alright mate. I'm really starting to think you are on something."  
  
"I'm fine, I've just had way too much energy that I've been storing up. I'm so excited!!!"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. He hadn't had much energy in a long time. It seemed like recently he had just been downright depressed. And that was a depressing thought.  
  
"What do you want to do, James," Sirius asked, looking closely at his friend. Indeed he did appear to be "normal" but still...this wasn't normal behaviour for James. Even an overly hyper James.  
  
"Let's go outside and...and...and...play tag!" James suggested and ran out the door. Sirius stood frozen. This was going to be a long day...  
  
A.N. teeheehee. that made no sense. no james really isn't on anything, he's just really hyper, like me, so...you know, it doesn't make much sense, but I thought a pointless chapter would be awesome, simply because I love random things. very random. anyways, please, does anyone have any suggestions? any. i'll do anything. just give me an idea. or two. I NEED A BLOODY IDEA!!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!! HELP ME THINK OF AN IDEA!!! I'M TAKING REQUESTS!!! most people love giving requests. if you don't i'll....just have to post another stupid chapter so there. mwahahaha. this note is getting really long. please give me an idea, while you're reviewing. good, bad, ok...whatever. thanks. adios! 


	23. Next Few Months

A.N.: sorry, computer broke again, but now I'm back and I'm ready to write more. smiles

Disclaimer: own this I do not. go star wars!!! Awesome trailer!!!

Chapter 23

The rest of the year passed uneventfully. Sirius and James got plenty extra detentions for pranking Snape and the other Slytherins. Remus disappeared randomly and showed up the next day. Also, during the months before summer break, Sirius randomly became mute. Sometimes it lasted only a few hours, other times it lasted up to a week. During those periods, Sirius was depressed and angry. Not so angry as to cut himself again, but he was still incredibly upset. After those spells ended, however, he was happy and hyper as he usually was.

Another thing that occurred was that the Potter's signed for Sirius's guardianship. When he had first learned about it, Sirius was ecstatic. James almost seemed surprised, as if he weren't sure that his parents were certain about their decision. They had though and both boys were excited that they got to live with each other year round. Of course, both of them began rethinking the excellence of that after a few annoying mornings with each other. It didn't matter though, because they were such good friends.

During the summer, Sirius got a few letters from his parents, none of them saying very nice things about him. Usually he never opened them and burned them later at night. Once or twice though, his curiosity got the better of him. However, after he read them, he regretted it. Some contained potions, or spells, or any other horrible thing that a parent could to a child without actually seeing him.

After reading the letters, Sirius would often get nightmares. He was always forced to recall how his parents had treated him while he still lived with him. Sometimes he would wake up crying and others he would awaken in a cold sweat, shivering and fearful. At times like those, James would comfort him. For some odd reason, he always seemed to realize when Sirius was in desperate need of companionship.

As the holidays drew to an end, the boys were sent off to Diagon Alley together. Of course, that's not always the best idea considering the fact that both boys were excellent troublemakers. However, this did not cross the Potters' minds until it was too late.

"So, Sirius, what should we do now that we're all alone in Diagon Alley, with no one to yell at us except innocent bystanders," James asked as they walked down the street. Sirius glanced at him and shrugged. This was another one of his mute spells and he was not particularly happy about the events that were taking place.

"I'll take that as you want to prank any Slytherin that we come into contact with," James responded to his glare. James realized that all that Sirius really needed was a good cheering up. And what better way to do so than to prank a Slytherin. In response to James's idea, Sirius smiled and nodded.

However, Sirius was deep in thought about something else. What if he ran into some members of his family? They could do anything to either him or James if they wanted to, considering they were only two twelve year olds out in Diagon Alley without any form of protection other than their wand which they weren't allowed to use outside of school.

"Isn't that just swell," he thought angrily. "I should have just gone home, that way I wouldn't be so afraid of seeing them randomly." The other side of his brain, which was usually considered the rational side, responded, "if you'd gone back there, you would probably be dead."

"Oh shut up," Sirius said out loud. Apparently his mute phase was over. James looked over at him rather oddly and Sirius grinned sheepishly. "Don't ask," he muttered. James shook his head in mild amusement and led the way to the joke shop.

When they entered the shop they found what they needed and purchased the items. By the time they left, they had spent almost more money on prank items than on their books and new robes.

"Mom's not going to be too happy about this is she?" James asked, looking at the bags in his and Sirius's hands. Sirius glanced around at them too and then shook his head.

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her though, will it?" Sirius replied with a sly look in his eyes. James simply smiled and followed Sirius into the book shop across the street. They came out of that shop with more bags and a grumpier attitude about the world.

"I say we stop for ice cream now, what do you think?" James asked, looking over to where people were seated and eating.

"I say that's fine by me. I love ice cream, so might as well."

The boys ordered and then sat around silently eating and watching the people going by. Once Sirius thought he spotted Remus, but decided that it was just a figment of his imagination as he quickly disappeared in the crowd of people.

"We'd better go home," James said, after they finished eating. He stood up and picked up his bags. Sirius nodded and followed him. The day had been a long one and he was exhausted. He was starting to think that the potion was having a negative affect on him after all. More often he was beginning to get terrible headaches and suffering from sleep deprivation which of course led to exhaustion. Maybe he'd ask Mrs. Potter about it later.

A.N. there you go. Sorry it took so long. Um...ideas would be great. I know that chapter was rather pointless. They're going back to Hogwarts in the next chapter.


	24. Disaster at the Station

A.N. thank you to the people who reviewed, and thanks to those who gave me ideas. They were very awesome! And as such, I do think that I will use them. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own this, boohoo for me.

Chapter 24

The summer passed quickly for the two boys. Towards the end, Remus came and spent the rest of the vacation at the Potter's. During that time, they plotted against the Slytherins, ate cake, watched Remus do their homework, ate cake, went swimming, and ate cake.

All too soon it was time for them to head back to school. The night before was hectic, filled with lots of screaming, threats, and bruises. It would appear that half of Sirius's things went missing and Remus and James were blamed of thievery. It didn't matter that the items were found in various, random corners as the night progressed.

That night, Sirius also talked to Mrs. Potter about the pills that he had been taking for the past few years. All of a sudden he was starting to feel sick, tired, and dizzy.

"Should I be feeling like this?" Sirius asked Mrs. Potter as he sat down at the table after packing everything.

"No, no matter what you've been taking you shouldn't be feeling like you are." Mrs. Potter stopped talking and eyed the boy thoughtfully. "Have you been feeling feverish recently, or throwing up?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows and thought back over the past few months. He had thrown up once, but he had thought nothing of it. He had also had a slight fever a few days back that he had completely ignored. "Yes, I threw up once at the beginning of summer and I've been feeling feverish lately."

This surprised Mrs. Potter. She really had not expected anything to be remotely serious, and had been hoping for the entire matter to be nothing but a figment of the boy's imagination. However, that would not appear to be the case. "Is there anything else that has been bothering you medically?"

Sirius thought again, and his pounding headache abruptly reminded him. "I've been having excruciating headaches and haven't been able to sleep well."

Mrs. Potter sighed. She would suggest taking Sirius off of the pills, but she didn't want to endanger his vocal ability. Everything she had researched said that technically, Sirius should not be talking at that very moment. However, it was also her experience that scientists usually didn't know what they were really talking about. There was no way that she wanted to take a risk with Sirius though. He was like her own son.

"What do you want to do, Sirius? I cannot reassure you that if I take you off your medication that you will maintain your speaking ability. But also, I can't tell you for certain that you'll be physically alright if continue taking it. It really comes down to what you value the most."

Sirius thought for a moment and then looked into Mrs. Potter's eyes. She was startled at the earnestness that reflected from his blue eyes. "I love being able to talk. It is the greatest thing that has happened in a while. Talking makes me happy and feel more like everyone else. Besides that, I really don't think that the pills are what's making me sick. I have, after all, been taking them for three years, and I haven't had a problem with them over that amount of time. Why start now?"

Now Mrs. Potter was confused. Wasn't he the one who came up to her and said he thought that there was a problem with his medication? Of course, maybe his ability to speak _was_ more important to him than his initial health. Over the past few weeks, she observed, he had been incredibly happy and pleasant, except when he was unable to speak. During those periods, the boy would mope around the house and be a sorrowful little bundle of miserable thoughts and emotions.

"Now, Sirius, we also have to think of your health, too, you know. If there is even the slightest chance that you could be making yourself sick over these voice preserving pills, you must not take them," she urged, gently cupping Sirius's face in her hands. He looked into her eyes again, uncertainty shining through them. Then he pulled away slightly and shook his head.

"I'm sure that I'm not getting sick because of the medication," he responded, sounding confident but still looking doubtful. Mrs. Potter sighed. There was no way that she could get him to change his mind. Maybe the medication really was making him sick, but Sirius didn't seem to care, and if he did, he did a really good job at hiding it. Instead of starting a huge argument, Mrs. Potter nodded and bid him good night.

The next morning, Sirius, James, and Remus got up around 9:00 a.m. They were greeted by a nice smelling breakfast and quickly ran downstairs to eat. On the table there were waffles, crepes, and sausage. The boys sat down and ate greedily, as if they hadn't eaten for weeks.

After they had eaten, Mrs. Potter quickly hustled them out of the house and into the car with their trunks. By the time they left it was 10:15 a.m. They were starting to push for time, as the Potter's house wasn't exactly the closest to the station. As such, they arrived at the station at 10:45, leaving them fifteen minutes to get their items on the train and find places to sit.

However, once they got onto the platform, they were greeted by a horrible sight. There, just about to leave, was the Black family. Sirius halted and his gaze turned incredibly cold. When the Blacks saw him, their gazes turned disdainful and equally cold. This was not going to be a happy meeting.

"Well, look who it is," Mrs. Black hissed angrily, her face turning an ugly color purple. Mrs. Potter looked apprehensively between the two. Between the boy who she had come to love as a son and the woman who had made that boy's life hell since he developed a mind of his own.

"One could say the same thing," Mrs. Potter interjected smoothly. Mrs. Black just raised her thin eyebrows and stared at her with great contempt. Mrs. Potter was amazed that anyone could manage such a patronizing stare.

"And who are you," Sirius's mother asked, looking at Mrs. Potter up and down, who was trying not to pull out her wand and curse the woman before her into an oblivion.

"I am Mrs. Potter, now the guardian of your son," she answered, staring at her levelly.

If possible, Mrs. Black's gaze turned colder. "Oh, so you are the mudblood lover who took in my abomination of a son. I'd pity you if you were not such a blood traitor, like my son. If you can call him that."

"I would certainly hope you could call him that. Oh wait, I forgot that your family doesn't have enough love among all of you to give to a dog, let alone a child that you gave birth to. Which is a shame, because you don't know what an incredible person your son is."

"I know enough to know that he is not worthy of love. How can you love something so disgraceful and despicable? It is not possible, Mrs. Potter. You see, I know how to breed good children. For some odd reason, Sirius did not come out correctly."

"Sirius came out just fine," Mrs. Potter was now on the brink of yelling at Mrs. Black. The audacity that she could say such horrible things about Sirius in front of him. Indeed, Sirius, James, and Remus were standing where they had two minutes ago when they first spotted the Black's. Mrs. Potter continued, "I am afraid that it is you that are warped and corrupted beyond belief."

"And who are you to say that about my wife," a man asked as he walked up. He looked a lot like Sirius, except harsher, and colder.

"I am the person now taking care of your son, Sirius," she snapped in return and turned a cold glare on him.

"I don't have a son named Sirius," he answered coldly and stiffly walked away. Mrs. Potter stared after him, her mouth dropped open. Sirius, she noticed, had turned his gaze to the ground and was fighting to hold back tears.

"Boys, why don't you get on the train now?" she suggested softly. They nodded and said goodbye, dragging their trunks and leaving the adults to finish their argument. After they were gone, both women began a verbal attack on each other.

On the train, Sirius was staring out the window, watching them argue. Mrs. Potter was making wild gestures while Mrs. Black held herself stiffly, without moving at all. Both, however, were furious. Mrs. Potter just showed it more.

"Are you okay, Sirius?" James asked, looking at his friend in concern as the train began to pull away.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, bitterness in his voice and tears in his eyes. "I just heard my father disown me while my mother denied ever loving me. Of course I'm fine."

James opened his mouth to argue, but Remus nudged him the ribs, much to his surprise. He shut his mouth anyways, and they both turned away from Sirius, letting him dwell on his own thoughts.

A.N. thank you for the ideas again. And for reviewing. It means a lot to me. The next chapter will be up again soon. Thanks!


	25. Of Death and Illness

A.N. yo, 'sup. Um, yeah there's really no excuse as to why this post took so long. I'm just lazy. rolls eyes at self. Anyways, here's the nice little chapter.

Chapter 25

They arrived at school and quickly went to go find carriages. Remus gave a start when he saw the carriages. There were animals there, harnessed and ready to pull the carriages. _"Were they always there?"_ he wondered as he followed James and Sirius into one. Sirius was still silent from the morning's occurrences and Remus was beginning to get worried about him.

As he sat down next to James, he asked, "Did you see those animals out there?"

James looked at him confused, and Sirius looked at him in surprise. "What animals? There were no animals anywhere as far as I could tell. Where did you see it?"

Remus looked at James funny. Sirius was still silent but he looked thoughtful now. "They were outside, pulling the carriages."

At this, James laughed and shook his head slightly. "Good one, Remus. Way to let your imagination get the better of you."

The rest of the ride was in silence, mainly because Sirius was not in a talkative mood, Remus was never in a talkative mood, and James wanted to respect his friend in his brooding. However, now Sirius was thinking about the animals.

_"I wonder who Remus saw die?" _he thought to himself, looking at his friend from a different perspective. _"Maybe that's why he's always going home when his mother's sick, because he's afraid he'll lose her like he lost...whoever it was before."_ The animals were thestrals and Sirius knew that. He had once been to a bedside vigil with his mother when he was young, and the lady had died. It had been one of his many aunts, Aunt Camila. She had been one of the nicer aunts and had always been nice to Sirius, even when his mother had told her specifically not to. The boy had been extremely saddened to see her die.

"Siri, are you alright?" James asked softly. He noticed that now his friend looked more thoughtful than sad.

Sirius nodded and looked at Remus. He was looking at his friend oddly. "So, Remus," Sirius asked conversationally, "who did you see die?"

Remus looked at him, a shocked expression now on his face. "How did you know that I..."

Sirius nodded toward the front of the carriage. "Well, you can see one of those thestrals, and that means that you've seen someone die. Only people who have seen death can see one of those things."

Understanding flashed across his face and he nodded slowly, all confusion gone from his face. "I saw my father die."

Immediately sorry for asking, Sirius apologized. Never before had even imagined not having a father. Sure, the one that he had was not very fatherly, but he still had one and knew him. Of course, Sirius hated the fact that he did, considering his father had just disowned him.

"Who did you see die?" Remus asked softly, his eyebrows raised and a thoughtful expression on his face. He did not seem to mind his father's death being brought up. In fact, he seemed to take everything in stride.

"I saw my Aunt Camila die when I was seven years old. My mother had taken me to a bedside vigil and she died there."

"Oh." Remus seemed to be a bit hesitant to tell his dark haired friend why his father died, but as they neared the castle, he said, "My father died protecting me."

Sirius nodded, still upset that he had made his friend sad in the slightest bit.

"Why did neither of you ever tell me this before?" James asked, looking at both of them as if he had never seen them before.

"No one in your family has died, or at least you weren't there when they died," answered Sirius before Remus could open his mouth. He was, however, going to say basically the same thing.

"Good answer," he muttered and stood up as the carriage came to a halt in front of the castle. He had never known that both of his friends had watched someone die. The way he figured, it was hard enough to lose someone you loved, but to watch them die must be horrible. Then again, Sirius most likely didn't care about the relative who had died.

They entered the school and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Sirius was starting to feel really tired and sick, almost to the point of vomiting. He had no idea what was wrong with him. He had felt fine all day and suddenly it had hit him.

"Are you alright?" questioned Remus, looking at his friend strangely. He seemed to be pale and looked like he was going to pass out.

Shaking his head as if to clear it, Sirius replied, "Yes, why wouldn't I be fine?"

"Because you look like crap," whispered James, also looking at his friend in concern. Sirius always seemed to be sick recently.

"Well, I don't feel like...whoa." A wave of dizziness suddenly hit him and the dark haired boy clutched at his head, as if trying to straighten up the world again. However, it didn't work, and Remus and James immediately helped him stand up and escorted him out of the Great Hall, much to everyone's surprise.

"Where are you boys going?" Professor McGonagall asked, stopping them as they reached the entrance. She didn't even notice Sirius's current condition. "The sorting is about to start."

"Sirius is really sick, professor," James answered, nodding towards his ill friend with his head. Remus nodded quickly in agreement, and Professor McGonagall looked at him closely for the first time. They boy seemed to be zoning in and out of barely conscious.

The professor sighed and nodded for them to continue on to the Hospital Wing. Lately it seemed the Sirius Black was always getting ill of hurt. She sighed again. The poor child went through so much.

"I'm really fine," Sirius said, after a while as the neared Hospital Wing, just as he completely passed out.

A.N. alrighty, how was that? Anwho, I hoped you liked that. I'm still open to any ideas you may have. Thanks for reviewing again. I'll try to be faster with my update next time. Go Lakers!


	26. Hospital Wing

Chapter 26

Sirius woke up slowly. He was exhausted, his body was aching, and it seemed as if his mind was a black hole. Looking around, he could tell that he was in the hospital wing. How he got there, though, was a complete mystery to him.

Madame Pomfery bustled out of her office and came to check on him. It would appear that he was her first patient of the year. _"I'll bet that's a record,"_ he thought randomly.

"Well, you're awake, finally," she said as she leaned over him and checked his pulse. He sighed and rolled his eyes. He would think, with her being a witch and all that she would be able to think of a more magical way to take a patient's pulse. Instead she just pushed really hard on his wrist. "Well, you seem to be doing a lot better compared to the last few days, but I still am not so sure you should leave yet."

"What happened? How long have I been here? Why am I here? How did I get here?" Sirius asked, firing off all of the questions that were in his mind at that moment. Madame Pomfery's eyes widened with each question and when he finished she shook her head.

"One question at a time, please," she exclaimed, sitting down in a chair next to his bed. "Firstly, your friends brought you here. When you arrived here you were extremely pale and ready to pass out. And then, while they were bringing you here, you did pass out. So, the reason that you are here is that you were ill and needed to see me. You have been here for…oh, three days. James and Remus have been to see you several times."

Sirius was silent, trying to digest her hurried explanation. Then he sighed. "I've just gotten here and I'm already behind in my homework. How is that possible? How?"

Madame Pomfery smiled slightly and pushed the hair out his face in a motherly fashion. It was really hard not to be fond of the boy. He just had a way with people. "I'm sure your teachers will excuse you. It's not your fault you were ill upon your arrival."

Sirius smiled slightly and looked up as the door opened. James and Remus stood there, looking at him.

"Hey, you're awake!" exclaimed James, excited all of a sudden. He had truly missed his best friend while he was out with his illness. Remus was great and all, but he wasn't as carefree as Sirius was and liked paying attention during class.

"It would certainly appear so," responded Sirius, a smile flashing across his face. Seeing his two friends made him a lot happier. Madame Pomfery got to her feet and let the boys talk. James told him what he had missed during the days he was out and Remus simply handed him the homework that he had missed.

"So what happened?" James finally asked the question that everyone knew was going to be asked eventually.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. I've been…well, I've been getting sick on and off recently. It's really weird, because one moment I could be bright sunny sun shine happy and the next moment I'll be so sick that I'll want to die. Very funny world that we live in."

James smiled, but Remus seemed too concerned to do anything but stare it his friend in a worried fashion. "Hey," Sirius said, catching the expression on Remus's face, "I'm not going to die. It just feels like it sometimes. No worrying statements meant."

At that, Remus cracked a smile and James outright laughed. They both quickly grew serious and stared at their friend. Sirius, under their scrutiny, was quickly becoming anxious and fidgety. "Alright, y'all can look away now. You're just making me a little nervous here."

"When are you going to get out?" James asked, hoping that it would be soon. As much as he loved his friend, he was really starting to get tired of taking notes for him. Remus refused to take notes because he reasoned that James would have to stay awake if Sirius needed the notes.

Sirius shrugged again. "I don't know, but I hope it's _soon." __"Oh no, _he thought. _"I get to be the dumb mute again." _

James immediately caught onto what happened and shook his head slightly, feeling sorry for his friend. Sirius just looked up at James and his eyes told him that he was not happy in the slightest bit.

"Sorry, Siri," James muttered.

_"Oh well,_" he said, looking at his friend in despair. _"It hardly matters if I'm in the hospital wing. No one to talk to down here anyways. Unless you count all the sick people who are depressed and don't want to do anything but sleep."_

"Sirius, you just woke up. How do you know what the people here are like?" Remus said reasonably. He knew that Sirius was just trying to look at a bad situation positively, but Remus thought that his mute friend needed a pessimistic outlook on life occasionally.

Sirius shrugged and looked at the people who were lying in the beds around him. Quite a few were Gryffindors and Slytherins who had most likely hexed each other while walking down the halls. _"It just doesn't seem like a happy environment right now,"_ he responded.

"It's a hospital, what did you expect?" James inquired, looking at his friend in an incredulous manner.

Sirius shrugged again, and James looked at his watch and sighed. "Remus and I have to go to class now, but you get better quickly because I'm getting tired of taking notes for you."

Sirius rolled his eyes and waved as they left the hospital wing.

"Do you think he's alright?" James asked Remus as they walked down the halls.

"I don't see why not," he responded, trying to force a book in his bag that he was tired of carrying around. In fact he was worried about the dark haired boy, but only because he knew that he was taking some kind of medication that would keep Sirius speaking. It had seemed that since Sirius began talking, he was becoming sicker and sicker.

Remus had noticed what James had failed to. Sirius had been sick during the last week when he was visiting. Not so sick that he was complaining about it, but he had been pale and weaker and frequently exhausted. He had also eavesdropped when he heard Sirius talking to Mrs. Potter. He really did hope that his friend would not have to give up talking to remain healthy, but if that was what it took…

"Maybe we should have just stayed with him, to keep him company," James said, looking worried. After all, it had been the first day their friend had been awake in three days. They had, of course, gone in to see him, but it wasn't the same.

"And miss classes this early in the year?!" exclaimed Remus. As much as he loved Sirius as a friend, he knew that class was also very important. "No, you can, but someone has to take notes for him."

James sighed. "You're right, but I don't wanna."

"Stop whining and walk," commanded Remus, prodding James in the back to make him walk faster.

James sighed again and they managed to get to their class right as it began.

A.N. things are going to get happy again soon! I hope. I am so lost, so expect random stuff showing up in upcoming chapters. Thank you for reading this, even though I've had some really bad, random, stupid parts. Anyways, please review!


	27. The New Guy

Chapter 27

Sirius left the hospital wing after a few more days. Each day James and Remus stopped by to give him the news of what was happening throughout the school and to drop off his homework, which really depressed Sirius in the long run. Every time they came, the boy was much happier and would automatically cheer up a considerable amount.

Madame Pomfery, for her part, was sad to see him go. It wasn't that she wanted him sick, it was just that he was such a good patient and usually didn't argue when she gave him odd potions. Unless it was the middle of the night, he would take them without any complaint. She was glad that he really did want to get better.

When Sirius returned to the dormitory, he was met by a surprise. A new boy was sitting on the bed that was by the door. James and Remus were sitting talking to themselves. When they saw Sirius, they jumped up and rushed over to him.

"Are you alright?"

"Is your voice back?"

"Did Madame Pomfery tell you what was wrong?"

"It's not going to happen again is it?"

Although they had seen him everyday, he had not told them anything, mainly because he didn't know anything. They had all been hoping that the nurse would tell Sirius what was wrong before he left. Unfortunately, she did not, which left all three boys wondering what to look out for, just in case he got sick again.

"Yes I'm alright, yes my voice is obviously back, no she did not tell me what was wrong, and I certainly hope that it doesn't happen again," answered Sirius absently as he watched the new boy. _"Who's that?"_ Sirius wondered. He had thought that it would be almost impossible for someone to come in randomly after their first year, or during their first year.

Following his gaze, Remus whispered, "That's Ben. He's…new. There's also a new girl, named Danielle."

"Nah, I never would have guessed that he's new," Sirius said sarcastically, wondering why Remus wouldn't tell him more.

"He came just yesterday. We would have told you, but we only found out after we visited you."

Sirius nodded, still watching him. The boy didn't even seem to notice that anyone else was in the room. He was just sitting on his bed, drawing on a notepad. It would almost seem that he acknowledged their presence, but every time he glanced at them, he would quickly drop his gaze back to his notepad and continue sketching.

"Hmm, I think we should become friends with him," Sirius said, after watching him for a few moments. Both of his friends looked at him as if he were nuts. They obviously did not think too highly of him. "What? He couldn't have possibly done something to make you angry already, has he?"

"No, he's just…different. So is the girl," responded James, now turning to look at him. Ben was acting as if he couldn't even hear them, but Sirius knew better. It was the kind of look that he knew was on his face every time he was eavesdropping on his parents.

"Do you have a problem with different?" Sirius suddenly snapped. "Because if you do, then you are no better than my parents, as much as I hate to say that. That is the reason, the only reason, that they hate me. It's because I'm not exactly like them. Are you saying that, because this person is not like you or me, we can't possibly befriend him. Well, I think you're on crack if that's what you're thinking." And with those words said, Sirius walked over and stuck his hand in Ben's face. "Hello, I'm Sirius Black."

After a moment, Ben took his hand and shook it. "I'm Ben Durand, as your friends so nicely told you." He smiled slightly at James and Remus's expressions. They had honestly thought that Ben was not listening. "Are they dense, because sometimes I've gotta worry."

Sirius laughed and shook his head. "They just miss a lot," he replied and sat down next to Ben. On his notepad was a sketched picture of the three of them, huddled together talking. "Wow! So that's why you were watching us," exclaimed Sirius. It was a really good drawing, too.

"Oh, yeah. I love to draw. For me, it was always an escape from the reality of life. You know?"

Sirius smiled slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I do know. It's just when the world is putting so much pressure on you to be someone you're not…when the walls are closing around you and all you can see is the evil in the world, all the horrible people, and all the cheating, lying, abusive scum out there." Sirius nodded and continued, "It's when you want to forget that there's any bad in the world and just focus on the good that exists somewhere in everybody."

"That's when you escape reality," added Ben, nodding and adding a small detail to the Sirius he had drawn in his picture. Now the Sirius in the picture was frowning, but it was a thoughtful frown that conveyed so much more than a smile could about the real Sirius Black.

"Yeah," whispered Sirius, staring at himself in the sketch. James and Remus were standing with their mouths wide open. Sirius, the person who James had known for four years, and the person who Remus had known for two years, had just magically and completely related to a total stranger in a way that neither of them could.

Ben gave a quick grin and looked at the two boys who were still standing up. "By the way, I pride myself on my individualistic attitude, and I do not appreciate it that you can so easily insult what I care about."

"Hey now," James said, abruptly coming to his senses, "I never insulted you. Or your pride."

"You were doing it just before Sirius came over and introduced himself. You did it before, when you didn't come and introduce yourselves. I'm not diseased, and neither is Danielle for that matter."

Remus nodded and stated, "We're very sorry about that now. You seem perfectly normal. I, personally, would love to get to know you better and become your friend."

"What is normal?" he asked, looking at them as if they had suddenly gone insane, while James and Remus looked at him in a similar manner. Sirius however, just sat there watching the exchange and taking sides with Ben, without actually taking sides.

"Um…just like everybody else?" guessed James, and could immediately tell by Ben's and to his surprise, Sirius's looks that he was wrong. "Well, fine you tell me what normal is."

Ben and Sirius exchanged a glance and smiled.

A.N. um...sorry for the random character. I'm going to get rid of him soon, unless you like him, and then I'll keep him. I honestly don't know what to do! ARGH! anyways, The next chapter will be an interesting conversation about "Normalness". lol. thank you for reading this.


	28. Normal

Chapter 28

"Normal…what would you consider normal, Sirius?" Ben asked and glanced at the boy sitting next to him.

"Well, I would consider normal to be in the eyes of the beholder," replied Sirius, a smile flashing across his face. He was enjoying teasing his two friends.

"That's beauty," said James, looking at Sirius as if he'd completely gone insane, which, for all he knew, he might have.

"That's true, but it's the same for being normal. What is normal? I mean can you honestly go up to a person and say, yo, you're just like everyone else?" Ben said, looking at James in a slightly accusing manner.

"No," stammered Remus, "Because no one looks or acts exactly like someone else. They may have similar traits or hobbies, but that doesn't make them exactly alike. Oh, I get it."

"There we go, one of them has seen the light!" exclaimed Ben, excited all of a sudden. On his picture, he drew a smile on the imitation of Remus, making him look intelligent and happy.

"What do you think, James?" Sirius asked his friend softly. James looked at his friend and sighed. He hated philosophy. It never made sense to him. In fact, it was his motto that philosophy made no sense unless you were the one who said it first. And even then it could be confusing.

"I don't know. Everyone's different, so what? But there's a difference between normal and weird."

"But what standards are you judging by," Sirius continued. Both Ben and Remus had decided to let Sirius handle it on his own. "Is black hair normal? Are blue eyes normal? Is a certain complexion or height or weight normal? What are you judging by?"

James sighed and stood up. "Behavior makes a person abnormal." James began pacing and making wild gestures. Suddenly Sirius was regretting bringing up anything even close to philosophy. It made him angry, frustrated, and hyper. "If someone dyed their hair pink while everyone else refused to, that would be different, hence, not normal."

"Yeah, but how many times does that happen?" questioned Sirius.

"And how does that apply to me?" asked Ben.

After a moment of silence, James answered, "I actually don't know."

At James's answer, they all laughed and sat down together. James was glad that he had managed to get through a philosophical debate, Remus was glad that nothing was blown up in the process of James's succeeding, Sirius was happy that James saw things from his point of view, and Ben was happy that he had some new friends.

"So where did you come from, Ben?" asked Remus as he picked up one of his textbooks to start reading it.

"Well, Danielle and I moved here from America. We don't actually intend to stay here long, but we're not sure how long long really is." He looked kind of sheepish at that statement, but didn't elaborate.

"Are you and Danielle related at all or am I just inferring that you are?" James asked, slightly confused as to why Ben constantly talk about her.

"Well, she's my twin. So, I s'pose that would make me related to her. No matter how much I may not want to be at times."

"You know what," Sirius said randomly, "I think we should go explore."

"Explore where?" asked Ben his green eyes showing confusion. He had not seen much of the castle yet. He had only been to the great hall, the way to the Gryffindor common room, and the potions classroom which he really wished he didn't know where to find it.

"Well…um, anywhere sounds right about fine right now," he answered standing up and looking at James and Remus for approval.

"Are you sure that's the best thing to do?" asked James. "I mean, you did just get out of the hospital wing. Are you sure that you want to be up and about so soon?"

"Do you really think that Madame Pomfery would have let me out of her sight without making sure that I was 100 fine?"

James shrugged, but he was still kind of nervous. He really didn't want his best friend to be put in the hospital wing immediately after getting out of it. Remus could tell something was wrong as he looked at James from over his book. He really didn't want to do much of anything, as it was the night before the full moon. He was really tired, and was also worried about Sirius.

"You know, I'd really rather not do much of anything today," said Remus, setting his book down on the bed. James smiled his appreciation and Sirius looked crestfallen, but just shrugged. Ben looked at the three and didn't say or do anything. He honestly didn't care what they did as long as he was included.

Ben had never had consistent friends, because his family had moved around a lot. His only companion was Danielle, which wasn't so bad, except for after a while you want to hang out with some guys. So any chance to have some guy friends made Ben happy and willing to do just about anything.

"Any preference on your part?" Sirius asked Ben. Ben simply shook his head and looked at the three boys again. They were certainly interesting. They seemed like they were jokers and had fun pulling pranks on people. Each of them seemed intelligent, funny, and slightly carefree, except Remus was tighter on studying and Sirius couldn't seem to care less. James was somewhat in the middle of that.

If there was one thing that being a gifted artist had given him, it was the ability to read people, to really _see _them. Most of the time people couldn't see past the physical features of another person. Ben, however, could see deeper than that and could see how the soul survived, how the personality worked, and how the heart ticked in that person. It was one of his talents, and it was times like those that he really appreciated it.

They were still arguing about it when Remus suddenly yelled, "We have a test tomorrow! I know that you don't know it Sirius, and you weren't paying attention during class worth crap, James, and you know it! So let's study so we'll pass the first test of the year. How about that?"

"That's a horrible idea," said Sirius, sounding very whiny. "But, I guess…if you want to."

Remus smiled. "I do want to. Now let's study."

"After I go find something to eat," responded Sirius, and with that, both he and James were running out the door, leaving Ben and Remus in the room, slightly confused and exasperated.

A.N. oh the philosophy. anyways, things will become very interesting soon. thanks for reviewing.


	29. Pranks

Chapter 29

And so they were a quartet of prankers, rather than a trio. Ben was quickly accepted among them and was well liked. Even the new girl, who was his twin sister, was really cool. She would often hang out with them, after getting tired of hearing Lily Evans rant on about something, which she did often. It turned out that she liked pranks too, which was why she and her brother got along so well.

One day, about a month after the beginning of school, they were all sitting around the table, discussing an interesting plot against the Slytherins.

"I personally like making the food tap dance," Danielle suggested, looking at Snape through narrowed eyes. Her first impression of him had been bad and over the past month he hadn't done much to improve that image in her eyes.

"How do you make food tap dance?" James asked, looking confused. He had never heard of making food tap dance, although it did sound like a good idea.

_"We could have his clothes follow him around for a day, like a ghost,"_ suggested Sirius, going through one of his mute stages again, and feeling not so happy about it.

"Hey," exclaimed Ben, excited, "that sounds like a pretty good idea!" He looked at Danielle (or Dani for short) for approval.

She shrugged slightly and nodded. "It is a good idea, but I still like tap dancing food."

Remus sighed and shook his head. "We'll try that one later," he said just to calm her down. He watched her as she gave a mock pout and then burst into laughter. She really was a pretty girl, very nice and outgoing. She had dark, curly hair that went down to her waist and deep honey colored brown eyes that twinkled whenever she got an idea that could be considered somewhat against school regulation, which was quite frequently. Her personality was amazing, always happy and ready to smile, and her intelligence was profound. She seemed to know everything, and didn't appear to go out of her way to acquire that knowledge, she just had it.

"When should we try operation let's-make-Snape's-clothes-follow-him-around-like-a-ghost-all-day?" asked Dani, suddenly seeming to forget her own "brilliant" idea and become enthusiastic about this new one.

James smiled and replied, "I think we should try as soon as possible."

"Do you think we'll need to get into the Slytherin common room?" questioned Ben. His first opinion of Snape hadn't been any better than Dani's only he was more hostile towards anyone that bugged him in the slightest big. Dani seemed to have a bit more toleration, even if that wasn't saying much.

At this, James hesitated and shared a quick glance with Sirius and Remus. They both shrugged, but then Sirius nodded.

"Great," moaned Remus, getting into a prank for the first time. "How are we going to get into the Slytherin common room without being noticed?"

Dani got a twinkle in her eyes and smiled slightly. "Leave that to Ben and me," she said softly, and got up to go find something. The boys watched her retreating back and then James, Sirius, and Remus rounded on Ben to explain what had just happened.

"Nothing," he responded, shrugging. "I honestly don't know about her anymore. She's so…eccentric. Oh well, I know that she'll expect us to have everything else ready to go though, so let's get planning."

As it was a Saturday, they spent the rest of the day either walking around the lake discussing the prank, or trying to spy on Dani to discover what she was planning. Eventually they came to the best way to do it and discussed it at the great hall after dinner, waiting for Dani to join them.

"Someone will sneak into the Slytherin common room and put the spell on his clothing," whispered James, trying to keep it a secret from any possible eavesdroppers. "And then we'll dye his hair pink."

"When did that come into the picture?" asked Sirius, having just regained his voice while making the third lap around the grounds.

"Um…just now when I realized that more would have to be done. Then, while Dani and Ben are sneaking back, Remus will charm the food to start dancing and singing random crap when they try to eat it."

"I will?" Remus said, thoroughly shocked at this new addition to their prank.

"Yes," responded James and continued planning. "And then, once that's done, Sirius will get the potion into the Slytherins' drinks and they will start singing really stupid songs."

"And what are you going to do, Jaime?" asked Sirius innocently.

"I," James began, all importantly, "am going to watch your backs in case something horrible happens."

"Too coward to do anything for yourself?" asked Dani as she walked up to the table and sat down.

"Did you think of a way to do it?" James asked anxiously, ignoring her statement.

"Relax, Potter," she said soothingly, "I've got the plan all up here." She tapped her head meaningfully and looked at Ben.

"Operation Slytherin-Infiltration," he said, a smile blossoming upon his face. She nodded and began to pick at the left over food on the table.

"So," James asked, looking at her curiously, "what is your brilliant plan?"

She shook her head. "You can't ask me that and expect to get an answer," she scolded mildly. "My secrets remain secrets, mate, and they will die with me…and Ben."

"Well, when are you going to do this brilliant "operation Slytherin-infiltration"?" he asked in a mocking sort of voice.

"Tomorrow, and you can come along for the show, if you like," she said in a teasing voice.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" a harsh voice came from behind them. Dani rolled her eyes, and Ben stifled a laugh.

"Why I do not believe it's any of your concern Lily," Dani said in a slightly patronizing voice.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to eavesdrop?" asked Sirius, in a teasing voice. Lily Evans really did bug him, but there wasn't much he could do about it, except ignore her.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to bully people who are no match for you?" she snapped in return.

Dani rolled her eyes again and moved to get up. Lily took this time to verbally attack her. "I thought you knew better than to sink to their level."

"Their level?" she asked, sounding somewhat offended. "Well sorry. I did not mean to insult you with my conversing with Potter and his friends. I forgot that it was a crime in your book of things you must not do at Hogwarts. Give me a break Lily, I have so many better things to do than actually give a rip about you and your "rivalry"." Dani stood up and walked away angrily.

"You got told, Lily," said Ben, looking after his sister with mild approval. Lily simply sniffed and walked away.

A.N. yep, there's another chapter. I hope that you're in the mood for some humor (well, by my standards anyways) 'cause the next chapter is gonna be full of it. Sorry for those of you who like Lily, she really bugs me, so there you go. Please review and thank you for tolerating my insanity.


	30. Sick Again

Chapter 30

The four boys and Dani were sitting in the common room, waiting for the right time to act. Dani seemed to be rethinking her great plan, but not by much.

"It would be easier if we had more protection," she muttered as she looked at the plan she had drawn up. None of the other guys could see, except Ben, who was going with her.

"Well, I'm the diversion, not you," Ben muttered, still not looking overly happy. Once he had seen her plan, he had been outraged and that had resulted in a thirty minute argument which had been broken up only after Sirius yelled at both of them.

"Exactly! You're _supposed_ to be seen, not me. I'm supposed to be slinking through the shadows while you take on all of those nasty Slytherins," she joked and looked back to her plan. Ben tried to comprehend what she said while James suddenly looked thoughtful. Randomly, he got up and ran up the stairs. Dani looked up after him and Sirius got up in confusion.

"Where's he going?" Remus asked, looking at his friends. Sirius shrugged and Dani shook her head. Ben didn't even appear to notice that anything had happened. Moments later, however, James returned with something that looked like a silvery piece of cloth.

"That's an invisibility cloak!" exclaimed Ben, looking at it and finally reacting to his surroundings. "That's awesome!"

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" asked Sirius. He had thought that James told him everything, yet here he was, revealing a new secret. Sirius didn't like it much.

James just shrugged and held it out to Dani. "I got it for my birthday, it was my dad's, I guess. I was waiting for the perfect time to get it out to use."

Dani smiled slightly while Sirius looked offended. They always told each other every little thing that happened to them, what they got, and what they were going to do with what they got. It was not fair. Dani was coming in and ruining everything! It was like she was trying to take over his spot as James's best friend. Well, Sirius would not allow that to happen.

"So…" Sirius started, "when does this brilliant plan begin to work?"

Dani looked at him, a smile once again lighting up her face. "Tomorrow morning, when the Slytherins come down for breakfast," she answered looking excited and ready. "Are you ready with your part of the prank?"

Sirius nodded in grim satisfaction. At least he had done that much. It had been harder than he had first thought to find out how to make food dance and sing, but it wasn't really a hard spell.

"Do you have the dye ready?" asked James, looking at Remus, who nodded and looked tired.

Ben and Dani got up randomly and headed out of the common room, much to the surprise of the others. "Where are you going?" asked James, half standing up. Dani turned back around and faced him, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"You do want this plan to be carried out, don't you?" she asked, placing her hands on her narrow hips. James nodded slightly and she continued, "Then Ben and I should probably get cracking." And with those words, she led Ben out of the room, leaving silence behind them.

"Well…" Remus finally said, "What do we do now?"

Sirius smiled slightly. "We could spy on them," he suggested. "I'm very curious to know their plan."

"Sirius," James said, a silent warning in his voice. "They deserve to do things they want on their own. We should respect their privacy and let them do their part of the prank without our intruding."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but he randomly became dizzy and he gripped James's arm to keep from falling over. James immediately steadied his friend and looked at him in concern. "Are you alright?" he asked, looking closely at Sirius.

Sirius shook his head to clear away his dizziness, and said, "I'm fine, just a little bit tired, I guess." The next moment, he was falling to the floor in a dead faint.

Flashback dream thingy

_"I'm James Potter," the boy with messy black hair and glasses said, holding out his hand. Sirius was eight years old and was living on the streets in Diagon Alley after his parents had kicked him out of the house for being mute. James was waiting for his parents to finish up some business. _

_"_I'm Sirius Black,_" Sirius responded, holding his hand out in return, a small smile on his face._

_"You're…who, I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," a confused James asked, looking at the boy as if he had gone insane. Sirius rolled his eyes and tried again, this time mouthing the words clearly. _

"I'm Sirius Black," _he repeated, a smile flashing across his face. _

_"Okay," James said slowly, looking slightly confused. "Why aren't you speaking Sirius? I know your family is evil, but are they stupid too?"_

_At that statement, Sirius grinned broadly, and cast a spell mentally it seemed. In James's head, Sirius's voice came clearly, "I'm mute, because my evil mother decided she didn't like the sound of my voice and magicked it away. So now I live on the streets of Diagon Alley, because she decided to kick me out. Fun, right?" _

_The hold over James's mind seemed to vanish and Sirius suddenly looked exhausted. "I'm sorry," he apologized to the Black boy. "That sounds terrible, really."_

_Sirius nodded slightly and looked around for his parents, just as a man and woman walked up to James. They looked at Sirius curiously and then turned to James, who was obviously their son. For an instance, Sirius was jealous, but he quickly shook away that feeling. He wasn't allowed to feel jealous. Blacks' just weren't supposed to show any emotion. _

_"This is Sirius Black," James introduced for him. Sirius gave a short wave. Instantly a look of caution flashed into the Potters' eyes. They were not comfortable with the Black family, even if the child did appear to be harmless. Before they could say anything else, James explained the Black boy's predicament. "His mother made him mute and then kicked him out of her house. He's living on the streets here. Can he come stay with us for a while, until he finds somewhere else to stay?"_

_The Potters seemed grieved by this and instead of arguing or even hesitating, they nodded and took the boy home with them, hoping that he really wasn't like the rest of the family. Over the next three years, Sirius became their son, deeply involved with every family activity and loved as if h were their own flesh and blood. _

End flashback dream thingy

Sirius opened his eyes somewhat groggily. Somewhere in the distance he could here James's voice calling out, "Hey, he's waking up!"

Forcing his eyes to open completely and focus, he saw James leaning over him with Remus, Ben, and Dani sitting next to him. They all seemed to be relieved that he was doing okay. "What happened?" he asked sleepily.

"You just passed out again," explained James.

"Which I don't understand, considering you just left here a few weeks ago," added Remus. "What's wrong with you?"

Sirius shrugged and looked at Madame Pomfery, who was standing at the end of his bed looking sorry and regretful.

A.N.- sorry that took so long. I wasn't expecting school to jump in and disturb my writing process, but there you go. Christmas-I mean winter-break is beginning in two days, so…I'll write more then, hopefully. Until then…review! Thank you!


	31. Pointless Arguements

Chapter 31

"What's wrong with me?" Sirius asked Madame Pomfery. She didn't say anything, just watched him carefully. Sirius looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer.

"You need to take this," she said finally, handing him a pink potion rather than answering his question.

Dani, apparently fed up with her snapped, "We would like to know what is wrong with Sirius. So," she continued, suddenly becoming a little bit subdued, "what's wrong?"

Madame Pomfery sighed and shook her head slightly. "Mr. Black, right now, I'm pretty sure that the medication you are taking for your former speech impairment is making you ill. I'm not sure why, but it would appear that if you don't get off of it soon, your immune system will start collapsing and then you will become deathly ill and unable to fight any sort of illness."

She stopped for a moment and then watched him closely to see his reaction. Sirius was sitting frozen, seeming to be unresponsive to what she was saying. As she opened her mouth to repeat herself, he shook his head and looked up, sorrow shining through his eyes. "I don't want to give up talking," he said softly, fighting back tears it would appear.

Madame Pomfery sighed. "By all rights you shouldn't be talking now. The medication was supposed to get you back to talking over a period of three years, not one. Because Mrs. Potter started giving it to you about a year before you started Hogwarts, right?"

Sirius nodded and then turned away from the nurse, as if in denial. She sighed and walked away. Once she was gone, he turned to look at James, desperation shining through his eyes and attitude. "I'm gonna lose my ability to speak again, aren't I?"

James opened his mouth to protest that, but closed it again, not wanting to lie to his friend. Sirius smiled at this and nodded. "At least your honest," he muttered and looked down at his hands in his lap. He knew he wanted to be healthy, but…he was happiest when he was able to speak his mind instead of having to mouth and hope the person he was speaking to would respond.

"I hope everything goes alright with you," Dani said randomly, watching the boy carefully. She could tell that he was facing intense internal conflict and wished that she could help him.

"Well, you'll be here every step of the way to watch," teased Sirius. As soon as the words left his mouth, she looked down at the ground, almost guiltily. Ben did too, Sirius noticed.

"Actually, we're leaving soon," she murmured. Sirius looked at her carefully. Why would they be leaving when they had just gotten there. As if she could hear his unasked question, she responded, "We never stay in one place long. It's not safe for us or our friends."

"Why not?" asked Remus, who had been silently watching all of the ongoing events. Dani looked at him curiously, but it was Ben who answered.

"Well, our family had been targeted by Voldemort, and if Voldemort wants you dead, you usually don't live long. Our parents were killed at his hands, and we barely escaped. So, we figure if we move around a lot and have different aliases everywhere we go, we'll have a pretty good chance at surviving. Then again, what do we know?"

James looked at them and sighed. He was going to miss them. In the weeks that they had been there, they had brought good ideas, laughter, and interesting conversations. Not to mention he loved seeing someone getting the better of Lily. "I'm going to miss you guys," he muttered. Sirius and Remus nodded and the twins smiled slightly before spinning on their heels to leave.

"We have to go pack. After that…who knows? Maybe our paths will cross again," Dani said mysteriously and then left the hospital wing. Ben hesitated at the door and then grinned.

"Get better, Sirius. You have some pranks to pull, if I remember correctly. Best of luck, mates."

Then they were both gone. Sirius suddenly felt very guilty. He had never said anything nice to Dani and he had been indifferent towards Ben after their first philosophical debate. He wished that he could change that and be nicer, but if he could change all the things of his past that had gone wrong, then a lot of things would be different.

"What a shame," Remus said as he stared at the door that they had both just exited out of. Sirius nodded his agreement and then turned his focus back on his own predicament.

"What am I going to do?" he asked sadly. James looked at him as if he had suddenly lost his mind.

"You're going to stop taking the medication, if that's what is hurting you!" exclaimed James, very emphatic about keeping his friend healthy.

Sirius rolled his eyes. How could James understand? He had not gone through the shame of not being able to voice his opinions. James had always had everything, and here he was trying to tell Sirius to give up the one thing that had helped him defy his parents and what they had done to him. "Easy for you to say," he said, sounding highly resentful of his best friend's opinion.

"What's that supposed to mean," hissed James angrily. Remus sighed, sensing a fight about to break out.

"Well, you've always been able to talk, you've never had to give it up. As such, it is only so easy for you take it for granted and command me to give it up," he retorted, angry in his turn.

"Oh, so actually not wanting you to die is a crime now, huh? You'd rather talk and die then lose your speaking ability and live," James snarled, thinking that his friend was being irrational.

"James, maybe I like being able to get a person's attention by saying something rather than throwing stuff at him."

"You're being so pathetic right now. You are valuing the things that don't really matter at all."

Sirius was seeing red. How could James say that? What really mattered to him…was nothing? "James, get the hell out of here!" he shouted. "I don't know why I even bother trying to explain things to you! You are an insensitive, mean bastard!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. James stood there, trying to register what his best friend had just said to him. When it clicked, James spun on his heel and stormed away from his friend. "If that's what you think, then why should I bother with you," he hissed cruelly. "Maybe your parents were right. Maybe you are just a worthless mistake. I'm sorry I decided to convince my parents that you deserved a place to live. Come to think of it, I'm sorry I decided to befriend you. See ya."

He left the room, leaving Sirius and Remus in dead silence. Remus looked between Sirius and the door that James had just exited from. How could they have said such harsh things to each other when they were clearly soul brothers?

"Remmie," Sirius muttered numbly. Remus looked down at Sirius to see that his friend seemed to be frozen by the occurring events. "What just happened?"

A.N. I always love a good conflict. Anyways, I got tired of Dani and Ben, so they're gone. They might reappear, but…what do I know? Um…I'll update as soon as possible, but I'm running low on ideas. Anyone want to volunteer one?


	32. Continued Fighting

Chapter 32

Sirius was let out of the hospital wing the next day, after being told to cease taking the medication until she could prove otherwise. Grudgingly, Sirius had agreed and had left the hospital wing with all intentions of finding James and talking to him about their previous argument. Sirius was hoping above all hope that James wouldn't still be angry, although he had a right to be, after the cruel things Sirius had said. But then again, James had said some harsh things as well…

James was sitting in the common room when Sirius found him. He seemed to be studying something and Sirius hesitated in going up to him. As he was about to move forward, Lily Evans came down the stairs to her dormitory and walked over to James. He looked at her and smiled as she sat down. Not once did either of them glance in Sirius's direction.

Sirius watched the scene sadly. It would appear that in one day he had been replaced by Lily. He sighed and turned on his heel to leave. Maybe Remus would like to hang out with him.

"Is he gone?" he asked Lily as she opened up her text books to study with him. He had agreed to help her with her transfiguration work the other day when she asked him for assistance. Personally, James wasn't sure why she did, considering she highly disliked James, but she pointed out that he was the best in their class in the subject.

Lily looked over at the door and nodded. "Yeah, he's gone," she answered and looked at James strangely. "What's going on between you two? You are hardly seen without one another when he's not ill."

James shook his head and opened his own book to the correct page, not intending on answering her question. Personally, he didn't know why they didn't just apologize and get it over with, but James had said some pretty hurtful things to Sirius, who had just been telling the truth in the end. He would have spoken to Sirius, but he didn't want to be yelled at again and he didn't want to risk losing his own temper and saying something that might hurt him even more.

"Alright, transfiguring…" he began as Lily paid close attention.

Days passed before James even considering speaking to Sirius again. He was tired of his fears about losing his temper again. If Sirius forgave him, then that was awesome, and if he didn't, then he'd just have to torment him into speaking over Christmas break. However, whenever James tried to talk to Sirius, he was always vanishing and going somewhere else.

"Remus," James asked one day, "Is Sirius really that angry at me?"

Remus shrugged and couldn't answer. "I don't know. He wanted to apologize, but was afraid that you'd reject his apology, and as such I guess he's been avoiding you for the same reason."

James looked at him strangely and then sank back onto his bed. All because of a stupid little argument. What had even started it? He sighed. It didn't matter. All that James knew was that he had to reconcile with Sirius before he went home for the holidays.

Just then Sirius entered the dormitory and sat down on his bed, looking dismal and angry. Remus looked towards him and then back at James and sighed. Why was he always the one in the middle?

"Hey Sirius," James called out to his friend. Sirius simply turned his head to look at him, his expression staying the same. James, slightly abashed, got up and walked over to Sirius's bed before continuing. "What's wrong?"

Sirius shrugged and looked down at his hands. He wasn't sure if James was going to ridicule him some more, but he was hoping that he just wanted to forget the entire stupid argument.

"Okay," he muttered and sat down next to his friend. "Listen, I'm really sorry for what I said the other day while you were in the hospital wing. I didn't really mean it. I was just…I don't want you to keep getting sick. And you're right, I don't understand what it's like to not be able to speak, and I'm sorry that I spoke without even considering that."

Sirius smiled slightly and nodded. He was so happy that James had apologized. James looked at Sirius expectantly and Sirius nodded, meaning him too. "Well," James said, looking slightly put off. "I do recall you saying some not so nice things as well, don't you have something you want to say as well?"

Sirius nodded and began signing things with his hands. James just sighed in frustration and got up and left, leaving Sirius staring after him. Remus looked at Sirius strangely before asking him what that was all about.

Sirius waved around wildly with his hands, but Remus simply shook his head to show that he couldn't understand him. "What are you doing?" he asked, exasperation shining through his voice.

Sirius seemed to roll his eyes in irritation and rummaged around for a notepad and pencil. Quickly he wrote down his predicament.

"_The Slytherins put a spell on me…I don't know what, but my mouth is glued together and I can't talk without opening my mouth. It should wear off according to Madame Pomfery. Also, I'm going through one of my mute periods, so I can't talk period!!!"_

Remus read the note and had to choke back a laugh of amusement. It wasn't funny that Sirius was cursed, but his indignation was somewhat laughable. "I'm sorry, Sirius. So that's why you couldn't say anything to James when he came to apologize to you. You need to apologize as well."

Sirius nodded and wrote down, "_I know, but what if he doesn't want to listen to me now? I mean, it is rather insulting to be pouring out your heart to a person, only to have them respond in wild and crazy gestures."_

At that last line, Remus did burst out into laughter. Sirius glared at him, looking highly affronted. "I'm sorry Sirius," Remus said through his laughter. "It's just funny!"

At that, Sirius's mouth curled up into a smile. It was kinda funny if you wanted to look at it from that perspective. Sirius picked up his pencil again and wrote, "_I'll go find James after my mouth can open."_

Remus burst into laughter again, and Sirius stood up and left the room, tired of being teased.

About an hour later, Sirius's mouth opened and he went to go find James. He still couldn't talk, but James was an expert lip reader, which was highly reassuring. He found James sitting in the library, trying to study, but really dwelling on what had just happened.

Sirius walked up to him and poked James on the shoulder. James ignored him and got up to go find another book. Sirius persistently followed him, trying to get his attention in every way he knew how. His friend, however, had acquired great skill in ignoring his friend from years of past experience.

Finally James lost his patience and rounded on the mute boy. "Sirius!" he exclaimed, "I tried to apologize to you, but you completely blew me off. I don't want to hear any excuses, just go away and leave me alone. Right now, I don't even want to look at you."

He walked briskly out of the library to Madame Pince's disapproving look. Sirius stared after him, sadness on his young face. _"Oh well,"_ he thought dimly and also left the library, at a much slower pace.

A.N. yep, I love conflict, as I said before. Um…the next chapter will be exciting and around Christmas time. Please review, thanks.


	33. Kiss and Make Up

Chapter 33

James had walked around randomly for about an hour, not really knowing where he was going. He had just blown up at his best friend, without even listening to what he had to say. _"Well, he could have apologized when I did. I wasn't the only one who was rude,_" he thought in mild frustration.

Where was he going? He didn't know and at that point he didn't care. He missed Sirius, there was no doubt about it. Although Remus was an awesome friend, Sirius was his best friend. He'd known Sirius since he was eight years old and wandering around the streets of Diagon Alley. Yet, with one small, pointless argument, things were quickly spiraling out of control. Perhaps things were already beyond repair.

Somehow Sirius found himself heading to the common room. What was there that could possibly amuse him? He didn't want to see Sirius, and he didn't want to listen to Remus trying to put them back together. James rolled his eyes at that thought. It sounded like they were a romantic interest and had broken up after years of dating. Either that or like they were one vase that had broken into two pieces. Actually, that was rather accurate.

James headed up the stairs to his dormitory after entering the common room, muttering the password, "Holy Merlin," as he passed the portrait.

He was about to open the door when he heard crying and Remus talking. "It's okay, I'm sure he'll listen." Silence ensued and then Remus said, "I don't know. You should try talking to him again." More silence, and then the crying seemed to cease and Remus said, "Good night."

After waiting a few minutes, James entered the dormitory to find Sirius fast asleep (his curtains weren't drawn, as he saw them as an inconvenience and absolutely pointless) and Remus sitting on his bed reading a book. When James entered, he looked up and his eyebrows drew together.

"Hey, Remus," James said as he sat down on his own bed, looking dejected and lost. Remus looked back at his book, determinedly not saying anything. "What do you want to say?" asked James, seeing the look and smiling slightly.

"Nothing. I'm not gonna comment, I'm not gonna comment. Things are just better if I don't comment."

James rolled his eyes and got up to walk over to his studios friend. "Please, what's wrong?"

Remus shut his book sharply and glared at James. "You didn't even listen to him, didn't even try to pay attention to what he had to say. Do you realize how badly you hurt him" he yelled, his temper taking over him. "Do you wanna know why he didn't apologize? It was because the Slytherins but a curse on him that wouldn't allow him to open his mouth, and even if he could he wouldn't be able to talk because he's going through one of his mute stages!"

James was speechless. He had completely blown Sirius off, and it wasn't even his fault. Once again, his impulsive temper had gotten the better of him and he had hurt someone who meant a lot to him. "Why," he asked, "didn't he just use that one spell that causes his voice to be in my head like my conscience?"

Remus rolled his eyes and sighed. "He just got out of the hospital wing," he explained in a patronizing voice. "He doesn't have the strength right now to do something like that. He's already exhausted and doesn't have energy to spare on yelling at you!"

James sank down onto Remus's bed. He had really hurt Sirius. _"Mental note to self,"_ he thought grimly, "_Don't yell at my best friend until I have all of the facts."_

Remus sighed and opened his book again. "You can apologize tomorrow morning," he said as he flipped through the book, trying to find his page.

James looked at him and got up. "What's wrong with right now?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus nodded in the sleeping boy's direction. "He's sleeping."

"Oh."

The next morning Sirius woke up and sat up immediately. He had to go to his classes today. He had been excused recently because of his illness, but he figured that if he didn't go back today, then he'd just get more behind. He glanced over at his friends' beds. He could hear Remus moving around and then groan as he woke up. Remus was not a morning person.

Glancing over at James's bed, he found that James was sitting up in his bed and was looking around blearily. He looked around and his gaze met Sirius's. Guilt and sorrow filled his eyes and he stood up to walk over to his friend. Sirius looked wary for any type of confrontation, but James just gave a hug, whispering in his ear, "I'm so sorry Sirius. I should never had treated you like that. Next time, no matter what you did, I promise to hear your side of the story. Please forgive me."

Sirius nodded and James backed up in order to see his response. _"Of course James. You're my best friend, how could I not forgive you? Plus, if I were in your position I most likely would have done the same thing,"_ he mouthed, a smile crossing his young face. James smiled in return just as Remusmade his presenceknown.

"Oh," he sighed, "how cute.Let'skiss and make up!" Sirius rolled his eyes whileJames threw a pillowat himand thengot up go get ready.

Once they were all dressed, James, Sirius, and Remus walked down to the great hall.

"I'm starving!" James exclaimed as he sat down next to Sirius as he always did. Sirius rolled his eyes and Remus smiled as he began putting food on his plate.

Sirius also began to eat but with a depressed air. "What's wrong, Siri?" James asked through a mouthful of eggs.

He turned to face his concerned friend and shrugged. _"I don't wanna go to class,"_ he said mournfully.

James swallowed quickly and burst into laughter, leaving his friend looking highly affronted. "I never want to go to class, Sirius," James said, still laughing.

Sirius simply shrugged and started eating again. James, still chuckling under his breath, also continued eating. Remus, watching the entire exchange silently, suddenly said, "I have to go visit my sick mum tonight. She keeps on having relapses."

James looked up, concerned, but Sirius assumed a suspicious expression, but easily hid it. "That's a shame," said James, shaking his head. "I hope she gets better soon."

Remus nodded, and said, "I do too, but it most likely won't happen."

James nodded and then glanced at his watch. "Holy crud muffin!" he exclaimed, "We're gonna be late to potions, and…well, as much as I love detentions, I'd rather not get one from Professor Jade. She's evil."

Sirius smiled and got up to follow James to their class.

A.N. yep, happy holidays, even though I'm a day late. -sighs- oh well, it's the thought that counts right? I wanted to thank BabyBoo0968 for the idea. THANKS! Um…please review. It means a lot to me. Thanks to all of you.


	34. Blow Up

Chapter 34

"Alright," Professor Jade said as she circled around her students. "The ingredients are on the board. If one mistake is made, the entire potion might blow up and make a big mess and could possibly injure one of you."

James rolled his eyes while Sirius snickered slightly. She turned to glare at them before walking around, continuing her lecture. Remus was paying close attention while James and Sirius continued to joke around.

"Okay, begin," the professor said and Remus immediately began measuring out items and setting things up.

"Okay, Remmie, what are we doing?" asked James as he looked at all of the surrounding items.

"Were you paying even the slightest bit attention?" he asked, sounding frustrated. James and Sirius shook their heads and he groaned in response. "Alright, measure out this ingredient and then pour it in the cauldron while I cut up the root things. James, um…make sure nothing explodes."

Sirius looked up at that with an offended look on his face. _"I won't blow anything up!_" he exclaimed, but only James was paying any attention to him.

"I know, mate, but we've had some bad experiences in the past, if you need a reminder of them," James said, trying to reassure his friend by insulting him. Remus rolled his eyes at that tact without turning around to look at either of them.

They were so different from him and he loved it. Their friendship, in his opinion, proved the theory 'opposites attract'. They were everything he wasn't. They joked around, were brave, opinionated, didn't really care what others thought of them, stood up for themselves, and were loyal to every possible extent. They were both also extremely handsome and outgoing. Remus, on the other hand, was quiet, shy, accepting, and studious. He tended to let people tease him without defending himself and really did care what others thought of him.

It was so awesome for him to have friends. This was the first time he had really had close friends. Werewolves don't usually have any friends, and Remus was ecstatic that he did. They were the best friends he could ask for. If only they knew…

"Remus," muttered James in his ear, trying to get his attention. Remus jerked and turned to look at his friend. Sirius was looking at him curiously. "Are you done cutting those root thingys?"

Remus looked down at the neatly cut root that he had just cut. He nodded and set the knife down. "Now we have to let it bubble for…fifteen minutes while we cut up this stuff and measure up this stuff."

_"What stuff?"_ asked Sirius as he poured in the stuff he had been measuring.

"Oh, the stuff behind that stuff, and that stuff over there, and the stuff that does something or other, and the stuff that smells bad," explained Remus, pointing all over the place, never hitting a direct spot.

"Oh, we're being descriptive now," a sarcastic James replied as he looked around at all of the ingredients. "Care to explain in deeper detail?"

"Not really. I'll just hand you the stuff and tell you the measurement."

Sirius rolled his eyes and continued working. This was going to take a long time. Remus picked out ingredients and handed them to his friend. Sirius was stuck cutting up some other plant thing and James was watching them both, reading over the ingredient list and the instructions.

"Has fifteen minutes passed?" asked James as he glanced up at Remus and Sirius. Sirius shrugged and Remus glanced at his watch. He nodded and then poured some of the newer ingredients in. BOOM! It exploded instantly as one of the measurements of the plant thing hit it.

James, Sirius, and Remus ducked, but were still splattered with the potion. Professor Jade looked over at them and rolled her eyes. She could have predicted that their potion would go wrong somehow, she was just hoping that it wouldn't.

"What did you three do?" she asked, sounding exasperated as she walked over to them. The three boys stood up somewhat looking sheepish and somewhat nervous. She looked around at the mess and shook her head. "Well, you'd better start cleaning up. I'd like to see you three after class."

They nodded and she conjured up some cleaning devices just for them. They took it without grumbling and started cleaning. Lily Evans was staring at them with contempt and disdain on her face while the Slytherins laughed and continued on their work.

"Oh well," muttered James as he mopped up the blown up potion on the floor, "it could have been worse."

"_How?"_ questioned Sirius, rolling his eyes slightly at his comment.

James simply shrugged and continued cleaning. Remus seemed to be dwelling on what had happened. "What had we done wrong?" he asked, glancing at James. James shrugged again and pursed his lips.

"As far as I can tell, we did everything correctly. Maybe we didn't wait fifteen minutes after all."

Remus looked unconvinced, but didn't say anything else. The class ended about ten minutes later and they finished cleaning up about five minutes after that.

"Alright, boys," Professor Jade said when they walked up to her desk. "Any idea what you did to the potion to make it blow up like that?"

James shrugged and Remus shook his head. Sirius didn't respond as he was thinking over the entire process. _"I think I added too much root thing,"_ he said after a moment.

Professor Jade nodded and then excused them. "What was the point of that?" asked James as they walked to lunch. Remus shrugged and glanced at his watch. He was beginning to feel quite ill and decided that he should go to the hospital wing before something bad happened.

"I have to go now, you guys," he said and waved and quickly left so he wouldn't have to listen to their questions.

James and Sirius were left standing staring after his retreating back. "What's gotten into him?"

Sirius glanced at him as if he'd lost his mind. _"What is today?"_ he asked.

James shrugged and then answered, "It's…oh the thirteenth."

Sirius nodded and then sat down at the table to eat. He pulled out a chart and showed it to James. It was a moon chart. A few months ago, Sirius had begun to notice a pattern in Remus's random vanishings. He had found a chart on the moon's cycles and noticed that Remus was always missing around then. And when he came back, he was always exhausted and beat up. That led Sirius to believe that Remus was a werewolf.

James, however, was a bit slow and just stared at the chart stupidly. "Yeah, it's a chart of the moon cycles. What of-oh."

Sirius smiled and rolled his eyes as he piled food into his mouth. James was still staring at the chart, disbelief etched out on his face. "A werewolf?" he whispered, looking around him as if someone would be eavesdropping. Sirius nodded and continued eating as if nothing mattered.

James sat there ignoring the food in front of him. After a moment, he smiled and nodded. "That's kinda cool, actually. We should tell him that we know so he won't have to keep lying to us."

Sirius nodded and swallowed his mouthful of food. _"But for now, EAT!"_

A.N. sorry that took so long. I got distracted school. Oh well. Please review and thank you. Bye bye.


	35. He Knows!

Chapter 35

Remus crawled into the dorm room the next morning while the other boys were at their classes. He was exhausted after the long night and was ready for some decent rest. Madame Pomfrey had wanted him to stay in the hospital wing, but he had insisted on going to his own bed. He did not sleep as well in the hospital wing, and who could blame him? His scratches had all been healed and only a faint scar could be seen. However, he was so exhausted and pale that anyone would have thought that he was dying.

The werewolf spent the entire day in the dormitory, occasionally getting up to get something to drink or to do some homework that he had long procrastinated on due to the full moon. He really didn't like to do much of anything around the full so he usually would just attend classes up until lunch and then slip away. Slipping away had gotten a lot more difficult now that he had friends.

Remus could tell that Sirius was starting to get suspicious. James either didn't notice or just ignored the fact that Remus had the lamest excuse there possibly was, possibly because of his open minded friendship with Sirius, but Sirius was not so ready to accept it. Every time he mentioned going home to see his mom, Sirius's eyes would narrow and he would seem to be thinking over past events. It was never more than that, though. No confrontations, no evil glares, nothing to give a clue that Sirius knew. The way things were going, though, Remus was going to have to tell them soon or risk them finding out on their own and thinking that he had lied to them, which he had. The only problem with that, though, was the fact that Dumbledore had made him promise to not tell anyone. Plus, would his friends completely abandon him once they discovered that he was a dark creature?

The door to the dormitory opened and Remus could hear the playful banter of James Potter and Sirius Black. It sounded like Sirius had gotten his voice back and was having fun vocalizing his every opinion. Remus looked at his friends as they entered the room. His curtains were partially open so he could see them, but they couldn't see him.

---

James smiled as Sirius sat down on his bed. "Well, I don't know. Why would he not tell us though?"

"Because werewolves are evil," responded James, a hint of a smile on his young face. Sirius snorted.

"Werewolves aren't evil. They're victims! Most of the month they are just like you and me."

"Sirius, calm down, I know that. I was being sarcastic for everyone else on the planet who likes to automatically classify them as dark creatures simply because they were in the wrong place in the wrong time."

"Dude, you make it sound like a bank robbery."

"What's that mean?"

"Well, if you're in a bank when a bank robbery occurs, you're either gonna get blown up or shot. And that, my friend, is called bad timing, otherwise known as being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

James shook his head at Sirius's explanation. "You're an idiot, you know that?"

Sirius laughed and leaned back on his bed. "I could say something really immature right now, but I don't think I will."

"What's that?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

James burst in to hysterics. "Siri, no one has said that in years! Why must you bring it back?"

Sirius chuckled. "I told you it was immature. But noo, you insisted on me saying it. So I said it. And now you're laughing at me and thinking I'm an idiot."

"You are."

"So we've already established. Must we keep on bringing it up?"

"Um, let me think about it…yes."

"Ha, aren't we cute?"

"I would say so."

Sirius shook his head and stuck out his tongue. "How are we going to tell him that we know about his secret?"

"We could try with, 'Remus, we know something you don't…or do know'. Or we could say, 'you know, we're more than just good looks, we've also got some brains, and after a while we noticed that you are a werewolf'."

"James, you're an idiot."

"No, you're the idiot, remember."

"Oh my goodness. We can't stay on topic for more than one minute. We're doomed."

A thoughtful expression flashed across his face. "You know," he began, "maybe we don't have to tell him."

Looking skeptical, Sirius asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we drop enough clues, maybe he'll figure out that we know on his own without us opening our big traps."

"Hey, I don't have a big trap!"

"You do when you can talk."

"I resent that!"

----

Remus sighed inaudibly. Those two argued so much that if he didn't intervene, nothing would ever get done. At least he knew that they weren't going to abandon him. They seemed set on accepting him the way he was, even now that they knew the truth. However, he had to stop their debate on how to tell him something he already knew before something bad happened.

"Yo, you guys," he said, emerging from his bed. James and Sirius both looked up, a guilty expression on both of their faces. They ceased to amaze him. They could have just pulled the biggest prank on Snape and the rest of the Slytherins and lie to a teacher with an air of an innocent angel, but they could not keep a guilty expression off of their faces when facing Remus. It was really kind of nice, to tell the truth.

"Hey, Remus," stuttered Sirius, not quite meeting his gaze. "Were you taking a nap? You look like you need a nap."

"Hey, Siri," whispered James, acting like it was a big secret, but whispering it fairly loudly, "I discovered a way to tell him."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "How did you manage that?"

James laughed and shrugged. "Hey, Remmie, were you eavesdropping?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "What do you really think, idiot?"

Sirius chuckled, "I told you."

James looked at a loss, and retorted, "Well, so are you, so don't gloat yet. We still haven't told him."

"He knows!" exclaimed the dark haired boy, throwing up his hands in exasperation at his friend.

"Oh…"

Remus smiled and sat down next to Sirius. "So you guys are really alright with me being a werewolf and all?"

James nodded and Sirius said, "As long as you're out of the room on your special nights, it's fine with me. Personally, I always liked werewolves."

"You're just saying that so he won't bite you're head off."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

'Am-"

"SHUT UP!" shouted Remus, losing his patience with his friends. Sure he loved them, but not like that, but they were being really stupid.

"-not," finished Sirius in a subdued voice. Remus rolled his eyes and groaned. He finally had friends and they were complete, absolute, stark raving mad, idiots!

A.N. I'm taking a fairly long time on my updates and I feel so terrible about it. I'm sorry. I'm evil and highly stupid (like Sirius and James). Anyways, please review. How far do you think I should go with this fic? An opinion on that please. Thank you!


	36. Life as it Comes

Chapter 36

"There has got to be some way for us to help him," muttered James as he and Sirius sat in the library skimming through books on werewolves. Remus was in the dormitory taking a nap, as his exhaustion was overwhelming.

Sirius raised his head from where it was lying on his arms. "I think you're smoking something mate, considering we've been sitting here for an hour and haven't done anything except look in a book for something that doesn't exist."

James rolled his eyes and snapped the book he was flipping through shut. Glaring at Sirius, he answered, "We have to at least try! You see how he bad he looks the day after the full moon. There might be some way we can help him."

Sirius groaned in frustration, pulling on his hair to emphasize that frustration. "You read the books. Werewolves are really dangerous to humans during a…transform-hey wait!"

Sirius grabbed one of the books off of the table and began to flip through it frantically. James raised his eyebrows and watched his friend in mild amusement. One moment he was telling him that there was no hope and then the next he was going crazy over…well, something or other. "Um…Siri, what are you looking for? Maybe I could help?"

He glanced up and smiled slightly before flipping a few more pages. "I found it!" he exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at the page with his index finger.

James leaned over and looked at the book, confusion forming on his face. It was opened to a page about animagi. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Sirius rolled his eyes in exasperation. James could be so slow sometimes it amazed him. "If werewolves can only harm humans, that means he can't harm animals. Which means, if we were animals, then we wouldn't have to worry about getting bitten and dying."

Understanding shone on James's face and then doubt. "We're only second years. How in the world will we be able to pull that off?"

"We happen to be the top of our class and we are bloody brilliant, if I do say so myself, so there's really no reason why we shouldn't be able to excel in this," answered Sirius, starting to read over the directions. He grimaced every once in a while at some part that sounded extremely confusing.

James, meanwhile, was muttering to himself about the impossibility of it all. "You do realize that we've got to register if we're animagi," he said, trying to talk his friend out of his newfound brilliant idea. It wasn't that he didn't want to help Remus during his werewolf nights, but he didn't want to do something so drastic and illegal. Not to mention hopeless.

Sirius, however, just shrugged. "Since when have we ever cared about little trivial things like that?"

That left James perplexed. Now that he thought about it, he'd always regarded the law as something that was just placed on him to interfere with his many awesome, yet destructive ideas. "Well, Remus is never going to approve," he countered.

Sirius smiled, rereading the text. "Since when have we ever cared about little trivial things like that?"

That left James frustrated. Now that he thought about it, the last time that they had really taken Remus's advice had been when he was trying to teach them how to do some transfiguring charm. They usually just ignored him and went on with their pranks. "Well, it will take a lot of rule breaking and secrecy." He was now pleading for some reason to strike his best friend.

"Since when have we ever cared about little trivial things like that?"

That left James exasperated. "Will you stop saying that? We've never cared about any of the above, but I think it's time that we did. We could get expelled, and that would be bad."

Sirius looked up and laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. "James, you are an idiot. Yes, getting expelled would be bad, but we're not going to get expelled."

"If we got caught we would," mumbled James, glancing down at his hands.

"That's why," Sirius said, "we won't get caught. Goodness, someone's into worrying today. Honestly, what the teachers don't know won't hurt them. And we've always been able to convince Remus of a plan when it was actually good."

"But this is not so good. A lot of things can go wrong. We could die!"

Sirius burst into hysterical laughter, causing the librarian to glare at them and put a finger to her lips to signify silence. He tried to stifle it but failed. Instead, he got up and took packed his things, still laughing. James watched him and followed as he left.

"How in the world could we possibly die?" laughed Sirius, trying to regain his breath from laughing so hard.

"Something could go wrong with the procedure and we could be struck by lightening, and we could be eaten by something, and we could eat something poisoned."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at his list of reasons. "Whatever floats your boat mate," he muttered and chuckled slightly again, when WHAM!

Someone ran into Sirius, causing them to both fall to the floor, knocking the wind out of Sirius. James watched in amusement as Sirius tried to disentangle himself from the person on top of him. It took a few minutes, but the two boys finally got to their feet, bringing James face to face with Snape.

"Watch we're you're going, mudblood lover," he snarled, picking up his fallen books.

"What? Is it my fault that you can't see through your greasy hair?" retorted Sirius, brushing invisible dirt off of himself. James watched, wondering if he'd have to get involved.

Snape's eyes blazed in pure fury. "At least I haven't been disowned by my family for being a mute fuck! Not to mention that I don't have to live with people who really would rather not have me around. Face it, Black, you're unwanted and unloved. Why are you still here?" With that said, Snape pushed in between James and Sirius to head to the library. Sirius stared after him, hurt shining through his eyes. He quickly shook it off and smiled and James.

James looked at him in concern. By then he was able to tell when his friend was putting on a show, a masquerade. Behind the smile and happy blue eyes lay a tormented soul that just wanted to be loved. There was only one thing that James could do though, and that was act like everything was normal. So James forced a smile as well and they continued their walk to the Gryffindor common room. Someday he would be able to talk to Sirius about what he was hiding behind the mask, but for now, he was just going to live life as if nothing was wrong. He was going to live life as if his best friend wasn't being torn apart. He was going to live life as it came.

A.N. I'm going to stop right here and start on a sequel. So, yeah. It's going to be life from the third year to the fourth year. I think. Something like that. Anyways, please review and look out for a sequel. Thank you guys!


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